Straight.

I take my coffee straight, neither shaken, nor stirred, but straight up like a martini, but not really. I like it in the morning, in the evening, all the live-long day! It's gotta be coffee and hey, just pour me some more coffee and I'll stay to listen to your story about your day and how the hogs got out of their pen and into the hay. But hey, it's not my story; it's just my coffee and after all, what I'm looking for…But then again, no. I just want my coffee to taste "oh so delicious."

Drinking coffee is what I do for fun on the weekend, or without really meaning to spend my whole day drinking coffee I sit and read a book while I'm sipping 'cause it's my coffee we're discussing here and I don't really mind to discuss the drip, drip, drip of my coffee machine as I pour myself another round of coffee I think it's rather tasty, don't you? All this has coffee has got me to thinking: "Are you single?" Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here? Let me take off my jacket. I want to feel comfortable while I sip. There, that's better. Now you know my taste in coffee: Straight up with a twist around my coffee cup of sugar and whip-cream. No thanks, strawberries don't go with coffee, except if we're dining fancy tonight. But I'll accept the flowers and the coffee. Don't mind if I do! Tell me, do you like your coffee in a canoe? Or perhaps you'd like to sip it in a tree. I like sipping coffee with me.

Coffee…mm…another cup of coffee? Oh, why not?! This cup is free!! No, not the cup, silly, just the coffee. Oh, well then, another cup of coffee. That's fine. Now where was I? Ah yes, the kind of coffee I prefer. Of course, it's got to be Ethiopian! There's nothing better, nothing darker. I prefer Ethiopian Harrar coffee with a bit of sugar, but not too much! You don't want to spoil the rich, deep taste of Ethiopian coffee. It's truly a luxurious experience to drink this stuff, especially in the afternoon, and especially with an attractive lady from Ethiopia whose name is Patrystia. Perhaps Patrystia and I will find a time to drink a coffee together, but I doubt…She wants to come to my piano performance. I forgot if I mentioned that already or not? In any regard, she's very supportive, even if we have not actually had a coffee together. She insists upon my telling her when it is. But I'm not telling, only posthumously. That is, after the performance is already finished. Why? Because I have not even had coffee with the lady! Besides, dating an airplane stewardess or evangelical Christian is rather like finding a girl online: She may or may not actually exist in reality. But sticking to coffee, yes, I think I'll ask her out for coffee. Not at Starbucks, granted. They don't have Ethiopian coffee at Starbucks and if they do, it's a poor substitute for the real thing. The real thing…The Real Thing! That's a play by Sam Shepherd, is it not? Well, coffee's the thing. It really draws somebody out of themselves emotionally and then you're at the mercy of the others' intentions. What are her intentions? I'm not speaking of the Ethiopian anymore; I'm speaking of her! Who? Her! The one, the only. The one I had coffee with last weekend? Precisely. Is she the one? The One? No, silly, the one and only. Oh, her. Well, we sort of had a coffee last weekend together, but then she wanted to eat. Oh? She was hungry. I see. Well, that's all very good to hear, but how did she take her coffee? She had a latte. Oh? Yeah, a latte. I see. Better luck next time. Yeah. What about that other one…? Who? The married one? Yeah, her. Ahhh….Did you have coffee with her yet?! Umm, we just had tea. Ouch. That's going to leave a mark. I see. Well, there's always next summer. Exactly. Precisely. I mean, who's going to know the difference? Between her and me? Between her and somebody else! Somebody else…like, the other one? Yeah, or…like, your ex? Why do you brink her up? Well, you seem to have a thing for Asians and coffee. I see. Want to get to the bottom of it? Not really. I see. You like your coffee black and your women Asian. Anything else? Ah yes, you are unemployed. But you have enough for coffee, yes? Correct. I see. Well, that takes care of everything then! What? The coffee. Oh, I see…So you're suggesting I combine the coffee with women and perhaps add a bagel. No, I'm suggesting you drink your coffee and come up with something really good. Like, what I'm writing right now? No, something even bigger…Coffee…And women. Coffee and women? Coffee and women. Coffee. And. Women. Coffee. AND women. Coffee and women. Coffee AND Women. Coffee & Women? Coffee and A woman. Yes, that sounds about right. And as for the grand idea thing…?

Can it.