Heartache

You're feeling very diminished and completely subdued. The love of your life is completely disinterested in you, and refuses to have anything to do with you.

Then, one day she suddenly offers to meet you at a certain spot, at an appointed time. She then heads off as you stand open mouthed as your dream girl hurries away, your eyes wide with the sudden change of mind. You turn and hurry homeward to prepare for your date and buy her some whimsy as a token.

You arrive early at the appointed spot, your mind reeling with excitement at the prospect of what may come. You practise what you will say to her repetitively in order to appear confident, your heart thumps against your chest with the anticipation of seeing her. What will she think of you?

You are so excited you fail to notice the minutes ticking away until suddenly you see it is time, but she is not there. It's okay you reason, as all girls like to be fashionably late for dates, and the clock on the church tower has only just struck.

You wait patiently as the minutes tick away, and you tell yourself that she'll be here any minute. Your mouth is dry with excitement as you peer about looking to spot her approach, but still the minutes tick away and a glance at the clock confirms she is now very late indeed.

You tell yourself that it's okay, that there's a good reason she is so late and you convince yourself she will show up soon......but creeping doubts tickle away at your mind as you stride about cursing your luck and the clock tells you she is now almost twenty minutes late.

The gnawing feeling in your stomach and the doubts in your mind combine to give you a worried and agitated look. You pace about as you desperately search your intellect for a reason as to why.........and the clock strikes the half-hour mark as you fidget and argue the point in your mind.

Then, out of the blue it hits you full in the face.

She isn't coming. But you force it to the back of your mind as your love for her overcomes your doubt and you resolve to wait longer, certain she will at least send word.

But a further fifteen minutes slowly creep past as your doubts begin to gnaw at your mind, until at last, head bowed you turn and trudge homeward, thoroughly and totally broken.

You don't eat for the rest of the day and lock your door as your mood sinks and the blackness overcomes you. Eventually you fall into sleep, though your mind repeats its solemn message....fool....you're a fool.......a fool.

The following day you seek her out, convinced she will run to you with an apology and explanation. And then you spy her, walking, and laughing with her friends. You hurry toward her, smiling and waving, and she sees you.

And she points to you, and she turns to her friends and says something, and as one they all begin to laugh at you, and the look in their eyes says it all, and the laughter pierces your heart in great stabs. The laughter continues as you slowly realise that she set you up, and you watch as they hurry off, still giggling at the joke.

A tear fills your eyes, you turn and casually toss your whimsy to the ground.

And that is heartache.