Shattered Safety

It was just like every other Tuesday I had been through since I started school that year. I woke up late that morning, having snoozed my alarm one too many times. Hurriedly I threw my hair into a ponytail, got dressed and ran down the stairs. No time for breakfast. Jogging down the street, I pulled on my backpack and tried to remember if I had done all of my homework the night before. There had been a raid in EverQuest the night before, and that had taken most of my focus for the night. At the time, I was not the greatest of students when it came to homework.  

A flash of yellow.

Crap, my bus was pulling up. I sped up into a full out run, barely making it to the bus before the doors closed. My breath was coming hard, but I grinned as I made my way to an empty seat. I remember being elated that I had made it, even if I was stuck on the seat right above the wheel. After a time, we arrived at the school and I made my way to my locker. I dumped my bag into it carelessly and grabbed the two books I would need for the day before lunch. 

My first class, social studies, was up on the second floor. I remember grumbling as I went up the stairs, dodging other people who weren't paying attention as they walked. At the time, this was one of the biggest irritants in my life. I was not one to enjoy touching people that I was not acquainted with properly. 

I made it. I slipped into my seat and started to pull out my homework. It was wrinkled and crumpled from being shoved in my book, but I had gotten it done at least. The bell rang and the teacher moved to the front of the room.

" I pledge allegiance, to the flag..."  I mumble my way half-heartedly through the recitation. Up to this point, I had never really given any thought to the words we were saying. It was just a chore every morning before class started. Once the Pledge was finished, everyone sat down to begin class. The teacher was writing a review on the board from the day before. Honestly, I can't remember what the subject matter was anymore, but I do remember another teacher from down the hall bursting in and whispering to mine. 

The chalk dropped and my teacher turned on the television in the room, fiddling with it until the channel changed from the school announcements to a news channel. On the screen, there was the horrible image of  the Twin Tower, burning and breaking apart. It felt like my heart stopped beating. All breath in my class stopped for what seemed like forever. No one said a word, eyes riveted to the screen. After a few moments I heard some sobs behind me, but I did not have time to acknowledge them fully. 

Something inside me was broken. I felt a new fear that I had never felt before wiggle into my heart like a worm. Safety had always been a given for me. My parents were kind, my home and school secure. I had never run into any true dangers that I could remember in my life. In my child's heart, I had projected that safety to the country, the world around me. Surely nothing could really go wrong in the United States. We were strong, and even though we had our problems we were safe. 

My child's heart shattered that day. The new adult beating in my chest suspected unseen danger around every corner. Years later, I still live more cautiously than some, fully aware that danger could be lurking. Anything could happen without warning, so the only thing to do is be cautious, be vigilant, be safe.