1976, Innocence Lost

An abject display of nudity is what started it for me... That I remember. But was it actually real though, or wait let me think...

Yes it was 1976, in the tiny farming community in Pennsylvania where I grew up; I was about 7 years old or so. This was a time of horrible fashion; bell-bottoms, atrocious music; disco, and bizarrely confusing films; Blacula. The town was full of dairy and corn farms, the perfect place for wooded forts and secret childhood pacts.

Back then I was a member of the illustrious Cub Scout organization for exactly 2 weeks and 4 days, not sure why I remember the specific time span. Cub Scouts are the 7 to 11 1/2 age group that is designated pre-Boy Scouts. It was short lived because at that age I tended to get into things I wasn't supposed to, caused small fairly harmless laughter riots and as-they-say "acted up." I don't recall the exact reason for my early departure but knowing my free spirited way I'm sure it had to do with covering myself with stickers and glue and jumping around like a monkey causing the other kids to spiral into a chaotic mob. Although I have certainly calmed down I have at least through adulthood retained the joy of making people laugh.

Exiting the cubs did leave me tied to a summer job at the local library. There were only a few hundred as a population and a few street blocks which was considered the down town area. The library was directly in the corner of an “L” of street connections. It was run by two very old and extremely kind women, sisters I believe. They were always overly nice to me. They were a very cheerful lot, always smiling and doting on me with "oh such a good boy." Something I guarantee you I did not hear very often. I remember thinking they must be 100 although they were more likely in their 80s. They talked quite a bit of the limitless wonders of the moon landing; so I do admit it makes me sad to think they never saw the advent of the internet or viewing 3D film.

My job was simple; gather and relocate (or retrieve) various reading materials from the 2nd-thru-5th floors of the building. They would say rather happily that their knees were far too shaky for the trip up-and-down the stairs. Although they hadn't been up those stairs in decades the youngsters who helped them through the years assisted them with a very well thought out cataloging system, which was really no more than different piles to distinguish the type and year of media.

It was some time in the summer as I remember the library having brisk air blowing in from all the open windows. Everything was wood, and creaky wood at that; the doors, the floors, the window frames. You couldn't take a step or even touch anything without it giving a little aged squeak.

I think I was carrying a large pile of magazines, I remember this only because I recall they were slippery and floppy in my hands making it for quite a climb up the steep stairs. It was toward the end of the day because I also remember it was starting to get dark out. I'm also reminded that I was in a bit of a hurry because I was going to play Dungeons and Dragons with my friends very soon in the reading room of the library. Those old librarian ladies were the best, letting us discuss monster fighting tactics and splitting treasure all the while making a bit of a mess and dropping our dice on the hard wooden floor.

I remember being lost in thought when I finally reached the 5th topmost floor. Stopping to catch my breath, just a second mind you, I looked up and there she was. I vividly remember actually doing one of those head-shake double-takes.

Standing not five feet in front of me, without a sound, completely still and completely naked, stood this absolutely stunning young woman. I swear I didn't blink and neither did she.

I was instantly embarrassed but yet I couldn't help but quickly run my eyes around her body. I swear I didn't take a breath and neither did she.

She was short-ish, small-ish, thin-ish and had long straight brunette hair and dark chestnut eyes. How do I remember this after all these years? Simple; she was the first fully nude woman I had ever seen, and I was overwhelmed. I swear her arm moved less than 1 inch and I jumped dropping the magazines.

The sun was now almost down causing her skin to glow slightly in the dusk, giving her a beautiful light blue tint.

Then she inexplicably started to sway mysteriously side-to-side but not moving forward or back. I was mesmerized by the motion, she was so lovely in her movement and it was as if she was now glinting in the shadows.

I simply croaked out a "hi."

Never breaking my gaze she produced a "woOoOooOooooOoOooOoooooOoooooo" sound.

I had absolutely no idea what to do.

Just as I was conjuring up the courage to say who-knows-what next she continued with the "woOo-ing" but started to back away.

Do I follow her? I probably shouldn't. Was I scared? Oddly not anymore although my heart was still trying to escape my chest.

All I could do was stand and stare. I watched her as she floated away without a sound, and with such grace as only an angel could produce.

In what was probably less than a few seconds she was gone. She drifted into the darkness of the deeper areas of the non-lit floor space. The reason that nobody went up there after dark was because those upper floors had no electricity in any of the rooms or hallways.

I remember standing there is the dark for a moment or two before I turned and walked slowly downstairs leaving the magazines where they had previously landed. I recall gripping the handrail extra hard as I couldn't see every stair in the oncoming night.

When I went into the main room I remember one of the women calling out to me a "thank you" and letting me know she put out cookies for me and my friends for our "little magic spelunking game."

I guess when I didn't reply she came around the corner and presented me with one of the most common of phrases, yet also so amazingly apt. With a bright smile she said "oh jeez, you look like you've seen a ghost."

I locked her eyes and very plainly and with no emotion said, "I did."

I recall she just continued to smile assuredly figuring the statement the fantasy of a child until I further said, "And she was beautiful, and naked."

At that her expression changed rapidly, not into an angry frown or that of scolding disbelief. This was something an overly creative child such as myself had seen too many times previously. No instead it was of serious concern.

She flatly asked "where did you see her?"

"Upstairs," I said, "on the 5th floor."

All I remember next was the sudden whirlwind of activity. I had never before and never after seen those two women move with such conviction and expediency. I was rushed off to a seat in the back office, many a hushed phone call was made and I could just make out through an open window that my friends were held at the door and told to remain on the street.

I sat alone for those few minutes wondering if I was yet again in “big trouble” somehow. Then all within 30 seconds our town's lone police car showed up, a brief discussion was had, and as he headed up the stairs I was lead out the front door to my best friend's parents.

They were seriously concerned along with their son Joey, as all at once they gathered me close and said, "what in the world?"

I remember looking up at Joey's mother and saying "I saw a ghost," just as the library's front door crashed open. Four or five fully grown but half naked men and women ran out full speed and scattered in every open direction. I recall they all had very dirty long hair and what little they did wear was brightly colored.

Officer Jimmy came out a few seconds later with a handcuffed man who was terribly skinny on his right and a handcuffed brunette woman on his left; they both were mostly clothed and very upset.

As he dumped them both in the back-seat of his squad car I recall and uncontrollable pull to see closer. I remember Joey's parents yelling after me as I ran to the vehicle. After slamming the car door Officer Jimmy went back into the library in a bit of a hurry.

I remember looking through the back passenger window at the young woman inside. Her eyes were unfocused, her hair was filthy, and her skin was grimy. Even though I could only witness this through the light of the street lamps, it didn't lie; I immediately knew this was my "ghost."

Officer Jimmy opened the front passenger’s side door and tossed in an open duffel bag full of what I didn't recognize but was later told was a variety of drugs, copious amounts of alcohol and scraps of pornography.

As the police car drove off I thought she'd look back to me, my ghost, but she never did.