Same old question.

'What the hell is wrong with me?'

The same question I ask myself every hour of everyday, even at 3am when i'm still lying awake. 

'Why can't I just be happy? Why is that so difficult?' 

I feel numb.

I eat loads, numb

I eat nothing, numb 

I watch crappy films, numb 

I listen to music, numb

I mess around with guys to feel some sort of passion? Love? Even hurt? Numb.

I watch red velvet blood come from my own veins, and what? Nothing.. 

n u m b. 

I liked it better when I was happy, when was that again? Although it's merely been weeks I can't seem to remember, all I know is nothingness.

'What the hell is wrong with me?' 

I'm a mess. I am nothing. Nothing but another human, made of self hate and confusion. 

I beg of this world, to give me something, I just want to feel again, I just want to be normal, I want to feel. 

Please,

Please,

I don't want to ask this question anymore.