Wake Up: An Essay on How You’re Being Manipulated

Manipulation, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is to “control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously.” Its root words manus comes from the Latin for “hand” and plere for “to fill,” which were mashed together to somehow mean “skillful handling of objects (or people).” Thus, forming the term manipulation as we know it, first recorded in 1826. But enough with the semantics… let’s focus on what’s important. Manipulation has been around for much, much longer than the 1800’s (we just figured out how to define it). In fact, we are a society built upon manipulation, from the serpent tricking Eve into taking a bite out of the apple in the Garden of Eden to Christopher Columbus driving the Native Americans off their land. (In the words of comedian Eddie Izzard “No flag, no country. Those are the rules I just made up and I’m backing them up with this gun”).

 There are so many ways manipulation has been and (is being) used. Let’s look at current events. The election was one giant cesspool of manipulation. We elected a racist, misogynist, and xenophobic man to be president. Why? Well, the answer is both simple and complicated. The simple answer is people (i.e. his supporters) fell for his rhetoric, but it goes deeper than that. Perhaps they truly believed in him and his message that he would “Make America Great Again.” Newsflash: It’s going to take more than hats to accomplish that, though. But enough about that… Let’s think about all the people (or things) that manipulate us every day. (There’s a reason gas lighting is a real thing). We take the jobs promising quick promotions and bonuses, but, six years later, you have yet to see a raise while your company’s CEO buys his third vacation home. Meanwhile, you can barely afford for Little Johnny to play soccer and for Little Suzie to take dance class. Why? Because we grow up being told we can be whatever we want to be: an astronaut, a marine biologist, president… We don’t tell a child “you can be whatever you want to be, so long as it’s a bus driver, waiter, garbage man, or plumber.” No kid grows up wanting to be a delivery driver, factory worker, or mail carrier. Did you know you have about a 1% chance of becoming a professional athlete? By that statistic, you won’t be Lebron James, but the guy who does his dry cleaning or drives him around in a limo. Why? Because you can be whatever you want to be.

So, why if it’s so unlikely you’ll become a professional athlete, do schools cut programs like the arts and not sports? Isn’t it more likely you’ll be an art teacher than play for the Steeler’s? Well, colleges bolster the lie of “you can be whatever you want to be” because it makes them money. Their brochures won’t say “spend $100,000+ to not ever use your degree and spend the rest of your life working a minimum-wage retail job.” They’re selling a dream. And maybe some people do achieve their dreams, but we’re talking about everyone else. It’s hard to ignore that some of the most successful people never finished college and don’t hold degrees: Dave Thomas (Wendy’s) never finished high school, Steve Jobs (Apple), Richard Branson (Virgin Records), Rachael Ray (Food Network), Michael Dell (Dell Computers)… Need I say more?

But school and jobs aren’t the only way we’re manipulated by THEM (cue ominous music). We’re manipulated in how we choose a mate or carry out a relationship. Girls are told from a young age that, if a boy picks on them or is mean to them, he likes her. (Then, we wonder why so many abused women don’t leave – they’ve spent their entire lives being told that’s love). At the same time, boys (who are a generation being raised by women because of absentee fathers) are made to believe that “nice guys finish last.” And don’t even get me started on rape culture in the United States. In its most basic form, some “relationships” more closely resemble Stockholm Syndrome thanks to us being manipulated into thinking that’s what love is.

We, as a collective, are bombarded with manipulation every day and, often, we don’t even know it. It occurs with religion, philosophy, advertising, politics, and even entertainment. Let’s take a closer look at each.

Religion

How many times have you heard if you don’t believe in God and accept him as your Lord and Savior you’re damned to hell where you’ll spend all of eternity in a fiery pit? Too much? Well, consider this. There are several different religions, so how could we possibly know which one is right? What if you die and there are no Pearly Gates? What if you die and, instead of God, you’re met by Allah or Buddha? I don’t know about you, but I’m respectful of all religions because I don’t want to take the chance that there’s something other than God up there and I end up in hell based on a technicality.

Philosophy

We’re told to believe this, not that. Do this, not that. We don’t teach Creationism in some schools and Evolution in others. But, with so many different cultures, who’s to say what is right or wrong? Oh, right…

Advertising

I think Fight Club’s Tyler Durden said it best: “Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate, so we can buy shit we don’t need.” But this need for stuff starts so early it’s almost impossible to combat it as an adult. As a parent, you might dread receiving your child’s Christmas list because it will probably have sixty-three items and cost over $8,000. This is thanks to them being glued to a TV screen where they are subjected to ad after ad for the newest “must have” toys (like a stuffed animal that turns into – wait for it – another stuffed animal… and it’s probably selling like hotcakes). However, once you get the list you’ll buy what you can and go way over budget because that’s what you do to prepare for Christmas. (You, too, were programed to believe you need stuff). I mean, there is a reason candy bars are located next to the cash registers – so your kid will scream and cry for one until you give in and buy one (because we need to have one). While we’re on the subject of grocery stores, let me let you in on a few secrets: The food on end caps or displayed in the middle of the aisle is almost always more expensive than the SAME food in the original location. We’re manipulated into thinking we’re getting a deal, but, really, they take advantage of the fact that you’re too fucking lazy to walk three aisles over for a cheaper price. Also, most bottled water is tap water (straight out of a faucet) and they shrink food containers, but charge a higher price for them (check out ice cream containers).

Politics

The American public is so manipulated by the media, we don’t know what to believe. We have a president elect who hates women and was endorsed by the KKK because Hillary mishandled some e-mails. (Not making light of Benghazi, but that was truly why most people chose to support Trump over her). I could go on about this all day, but I won’t.

Entertainment

Let’s move on… Even our entertainment is manipulative (and not just in the literal sense). A magician or illusionist manipulates the audience using sleight of hand (object manipulation). A circus performer twirls (manipulates their body). Bartenders toss bottles and flirt for tips (object manipulation and flat-out manipulation). Fire performers manipulate flames (object manipulation). We can’t go anywhere or do anything without being manipulated and we don’t even realize it.

We have been led to believe, through manipulation, that we need a bigger house, a newer, better car, the newest iPhone (or tech). But for what? To out-do your neighbor or that snooty PTA mom? When you’re on your deathbed, will any of that matter? We’re all buried in a hole six feet in the ground. Why aren’t we being manipulated into doing things that actually matter, like helping others? Because helping others doesn’t make money. It doesn’t feed the insatiable greed of a society run by fat-cats who could care less about you, even though they need you to buy their products to fund their lux lifestyle. Meanwhile, there are people in the world with no food or clean drinking water who shit in a hole in the ground, but at least you got yet another watch or a sixty-inch flat screen with 900 channels (though you only watch five).

Obviously, I’m not trying to tell you to sell your home and move into the cabin in the woods where you can live off the land and use a composting toilet (unless you’re into that). But I am asking you to be more mindful of all the ways you’re being manipulated as you try to pry Walmart’s last Hatchimal out of another soccer mom’s death grip. Yes, we see you. You are a product of centuries of manipulation.

Note: This essay doesn’t necessarily reflect my personal beliefs (hell, I own an iPhone and I'm as guilty of being manipulated as anyone else). The goal of this was to manipulate your thoughts/feelings on or about a certain subject. If it did the aforementioned, as in you were manipulated through the course of reading this, the goal was met. That’s how easily we’re manipulated. So, consider yourself manipulated.