Rose, Blood, and Tears

Cindy smelled the bitter sweet roses before she saw them on the kitchen counter. They were in a bundle wrapped in green paper. Her boyfriend, Jason, was at the kitchen table writing a document on his laptop. They had been going out for four years and had lived together for the last two. She knew he had heard her come home because her high heels were clacking loudly on the kitchen floor’s ceramic tiles, but he didn’t turn his head and kept working. He was nervous and didn’t know how she was going to react. She wasn’t sure yet either.

Cindy put her leather purse and trench coat on the kitchen counter and picked up the roses. They were beginning to welt and were as red as the blood that had dripped from her lip when Jason had slapped her last night and his college ring cut her lip open. She hadn’t felt any pain when Jason hit her because she had been in shock. He had never hit her before. After hitting her, Jason had stared blankly at her panting hard, then pulled her into a strong hug and started crying.

“I’m sorry, Cindy. Cindy, I’m sorry. Oh, god, I’m so sorry,” Jason had kept saying over and over again while he cried. She had felt the tears fall down her naked shoulder. She had only been wearing a bath towel. He had hit her after she got out of the shower. She had showered longer than ten minutes, the amount of the time she had promised him she would shower from now on after he had yelled at her about the high cost of the water bill. He had been so upset that she had broken her promise to him that he hit her. That’s what Jason kept frantically telling her as Cindy cleaned up the blood and put on clothes. He didn’t stop crying while he apologized to her.

Cindy knew Jason was an emotional person. He wasn’t like other guys and cried when he needed to. He was passionate about life, his work, and her. She had fallen in love with him when he cried after telling her, for the first time, he loved her. Cindy had battled with depression all of her life and it had been a relief to meet someone like Jason who made her happy. That morning, she kept telling herself that she loved Jason because he was passionate. She said it to herself when she woke up and again when she saw the red welt and dried blood on her swollen lip in the bathroom mirror. She couldn’t be surprised he would lash out when he was angry. She had knowingly broken a promise to him. She had ignored the timer last night while taking her shower and spent ten extra minutes shaving her legs. Jason worked hard and had done a lot for her. He had paid off half of her student debt and took care of their rent after she had temporarily lost her job. She mentally repeated these arguments to herself as she told people at work that she had accidentally walked into a pole the night before. She was again reminded how much Jason loved her when she saw the roses he had bought her lying on the kitchen counter.

The flowers smelled sickly sweet and the strong scent was starting to give her a headache. She  filled up a vase with water to put the flowers in. They looked beautiful but she had to throw away two because they had dark spots on their petals. The thorns on their stems pricked her hand and a small dot of blood welled from her index finger. She watched the blood trickle down her finger and onto her palm before running her hand under cold water in the kitchen sink. She quickly turned the water off when Jason closed his laptop and turned around to look at her. His eyes were red from crying.

“How was work?” he asked her.

“Fine. Did you finish your report?” She asked him back. Jason sighed. Her finger still stung with pain.

“The client wants more changes to the house design but I need to take a break. I’ve ordered sushi for dinner.” Cindy loved sushi but it was too expensive to eat all the time and Jason only bought it for her birthday and Valentine’s Day.

“That’s perfect.” Cindy smiled at Jason. He looked relieved and smiled back at her. Without thinking she said, “I’ll just take a shower before it arrives.”

She froze and looked at Jason for his reaction. Her swollen lip and finger were now both throbbing painfully. He strode over to her and pulled her into a tight hug. She felt choked by his wool sweater pressing on her neck.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered to her. He was hugging her too tightly and she felt suffocated. “I’ll come in after ten minutes and turn the water off myself. This time nothing will go wrong.” He let go of her but grabbed her shoulders, looked in her eyes, and smiled. The smile was too big for his face. 

Cindy nodded and walked to the bathroom. On her way, she passed the roses. Now in a vase, it was clear that all the flowers were wilting. Cindy thought it looked like they were crying. She wasn't sure if they were crying for her or Jason.