Survival

This is harder than I thought it would be.

Let me rephrase that. This is hard. I never gave any thought to being in this position so I can't justifiably make claim that the difficulty of it exceeds my expectations. I didn't willfully make the decision to end up where I am. This was not a choice. But here I am, and it's hard.

I'm not alone, however. I can, and do, take comfort in that knowledge. There are others like me, doing what we can to survive. I have seen them, lost, hungry, scared. Just as I am. We are in this together, and that is something promising to keep in mind. We'll make it through, so long as we stick together. I do believe this.

I was downtown when the outbreak erupted. That was this morning. That seems impossible, it seems like it happened so long ago, but it was only this morning. I was on my way to a doctor's appointment, and I was terrified. At my last appointment my doctor informed me there was an abnormality in my white blood cell count. He'd sent me for additional, more comprehensive blood work and I was returning, that day, to receive the results. I remember hearing a loud, terrified shriek, and I jumped. I'm not someone who startles easily but I was already on edge. I turned in the direction of the scream and that's when I saw them. My mind, bless its effort and dedication, tried to make sense of what I saw. Were they animals? People, horrifically injured? This involuntary, unconscious need to make sense and label was thrown by the wayside when I saw one of the creatures tear into a man's abdomen and begin to consume his organs. The man looked on, fully aware, his shock rendering him speechless.

The disease, the infection, the epidemic, whatever you want to call it, started slow, picking up speed and spreading until it reached the densely populated cities. Upon arrival, it began to spread like bacteria in a petri dish. We were never made aware of the exact nature of what was happening, though. There were rumors of a bizarre, mysterious illness, seemingly incurable, but we were assured that the cases were few and isolated, that those affected were securely quarantined. This information was delivered by all the big news outlets, on behalf of various medical organizations. Did we believe what we heard? Did we take heart in what we were told? I think the real question to ask is, were we even paying attention?

I have come to the realization that all I can do, all there is to do, is survive. Despite our condition, the will to survive is alive and well inside of all of us. You'll never know what you're capable of until you're faced with the unrelenting and uncontrollable instinct to survive. Is a tiger faulted for hunting a deer? A bear blamed for killing a fish? The truth is, we are all animals. Sometimes we don't like to think of ourselves as such, but we are. And even now, we are still animals.

But it is hard. I was hungry, so incredibly and desperately hungry. Many have now gone into hiding but I found one. He tried to talk to me, tried to reason with me, unaware we are beyond such rationale. Unaware I have rationalizations of my own. I was soon accompanied by several others like me. I felt no need to protect what was mine. We work together. We're all scared, unaccustomed to what we have become, unsure of where we'll go, unaware of when we'll eat next. But we'll make it, I know we will.

Because we have one another, and we have the will to survive.