The Golden Cure

Kelly had been an emergency room nurse for over 20 years, working in pediatrics all the way to hospice care and everything in between. The very essence of life and death were her bread and butter. Very few things surprised Kelly these days, so when her husband told her they were going camping, she was mortified.

The last time Kelly had gone camping she had been a little girl. That last time she had gone was with her father just weeks before he passed in a horrible accident. The two resonated with each other, and even though she knew now they were unrelated, she couldn't help but place them in the same boat.

"Do we really have to go?" she pleaded with her husband.

"You know the answer to that. I've been begging for years and you promised me for my birthday."

Kelly grunted in defeat. Why had she made such a ridiculous promise anyway? What was in the woods that wasn't in the luxury of their home?

The next day she found herself neck high in fresh air and waist deep in mosquitoes. She frantically dug through the pack her husband has prepared looking for the bug spray. "Dear, where is the bug repellant?" she asked. Her brown eyes were brimming over the pack like Kilroy. Their message was one of silent panic and even louder frustration.

"Didn't bring any.... I told you yesterday we are doing this the old fashioned way. Under the stars, no tents, no matches, no electronics, very few perks of modern day." He chuckled to himself, "I did forgo letting you brush your teeth with your finger through. Your brush should be in there somewhere."

Kelly tried very hard to keep her composure. This was going to be the longest three days ever.

Kelly awoke the next morning to the soft chirping of birds as the sun cascaded over the horizon. Stirring in her sleeping bag, she sat up to greet the dawn. "This isn't so bad," she thought to herself. The sky was a comforting shade of blue, the air fresh with a mild crispness, and everything so serene without the noise pollution of the city. Kelly lifted both her arms, stretching them behind her. Today could be a good day.

Kelly's momentary appreciation of the situation suddenly shifted when she realized she was alone in the campsite. Her husband! Where had her husband gone? "Honey...." she started softly, afraid of disturbing who knows what in these woods. The vessels in her eyes strained as she looked around for some sign of him. Why would he leave her alone like this? It was almost too cruel for words. Her whispers became words, and her words became shouts, and her shouts became screams. Surely he would hear her and come running? She waited. Nothing. “Screw this!” she said to herself. “I will go find him, or get off this damn rock, whatever comes first!” With that, she loaded up her pack and set off into the woods.

Over this rock, through those trees, up this hill… on and on she went. Kelly didn't know east from west or north from south. All she knew was one step in any direction would take her away from the site of her abandonment. She seethed all over again with resentment. He could have written a note in the dirt or something! Unless his intention had been to leave her out here. She shook her head. Her husband was many things, but that wasn't one of them. Fishing! He must have gone fishing! Preoccupied, she failed to notice the large raccoon on the boulder in front of her. She was blissfully unaware as she crawled on hands and knees up the rock, until she was eye to eye with the small bandit. Kelly blinked twice, hoping it was an illusion, until the raccoon hissed. Screaming, Kelly pushed out with her arms, flailing backwards. She not only bounced off the boulders, but also proceeded to roll down the hill some 20 feet.

Shock had set in for Kelly. The woman of few surprises was now in a situation that she had no logical way of dealing with. She felt lost. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she looked down to access the situation; she was dirty and bruised, but not broken. “All appears ok after the initial review” she told herself. As she gazed at her injuries more closely, she noted a four inch laceration on the back of her leg. It was bleeding profusely and had begun to swell. "Freaking fabulous!" she screamed. "Gotta go holistic when in nature. God forbid we bring a Band-Aid or bug spray!"

The rage felt good. "Now what the hell I am I suppose to do!?" She would have to clean up the wound, but the water in the area was bound to be full of animal feces and other types of parasitic debris. She had no bandage material to wrap it and now her clothes were covered in dirt. Left alone, the wound would fester. "Think. Think. Think. Old wives tales, medical myths, something had to be able to help. Honey! Of course! It's an antiseptic,” she exclaimed in her head. Where to get some honey? If this was a cartoon, Yogi Bear and BooBoo would come along with a picnic basket and all her problems would be solved.

As if prompted by her thoughts, Yogi appeared on the horizon. Kelly squinted at first. Obviously she had lost more blood than she had first anticipated and was now having desanguination illusions. No, that was a bear all right. Forcing herself to her feet, she set off after it making sure to keep enough distance as to not attract attention, but close enough so he could lead her to the golden goodness.

Bear droppings here, big paw print there, broken branches everywhere. This was certainly the right direction. She could easily follow these tracks to find the bear and then trace them back to find her way back to her own camp. After perusing the predator for about 30 minutes, she was on the verge of giving up. Bears should go straight to honey, right? That's what nature has preprogrammed them to do. Her patience was wavering when she heard the slight buzz of something delicious above her.

Cranking her neck straight upwards she saw in the midst the branches, some 30 feet above her, something wonderful. She used to be able to climb…shouldn't be so difficult now. The real question was how to collect the honey to apply to her wound. Something long, like a spoon, that could scoop up the golden goodness. Ah ha! She dropped her pack and pulled out her toothbrush. She might not have a spoon, but she had something close enough. Aching pull after aching pull, she climbed the tree to the honey hive. She scooted herself carefully out onto the branch. Extending the toothbrush to the hive, the bees became aware of her presence and began to circle her in a threatening warning. She was running out of time, but a few bee stings were worth the price of not letting her leg get infected. She needed that leg. With a mighty thrust she pushed her arm out and scraped inside the hive with her toothbrush, dipping it into the golden cure.