self love.

i am me. i was brought into this world without being asked. and ever since, i had to live, without having a choice in that either. some days, i hated myself. some days i was happy with myself. and it always felt strange. it felt as if i was lost, in the only place i thought i knew. in a place that i later understood, i would never fully know. sometimes it brings me joy, sometimes sorrow. but, that's life. isn't it? you wake up every morning, and you get past the day. some days you hate yourself and you hate everybody else. some days you get up and feel positive. you feel as if the world is giving you a chance to be happy. that's the drill of life. you can never be fully happy. non-stop happiness doesn't exist. but you can always hope for a glimpse of it. for a small little moment, in which you can finally love yourself for who you are.  i used to get up every morning, thinking of when i was going to sleep again, but now, now it's different. it's still the same lame life i had. but now, i see life differently. if i'm fat, whatever, i'm still me. if i'm ugly, to hell with that, i'm me. if i'm curvy, cool, i'm me. if i'm skinny, awesome, i'm me. if i'm tall, good, i'm me. if i'm short, good, i'm me. if my looks change, good, i'm still me. as long as my heart is still pure and beautiful, as long as my mind is at peace, as long as my personality doesn't change, i'm good. i'm me. i have understood that, it's all about perspective. looks are superficial. people might fall in love with looks, but looks aren't going to keep them in love. and it actually doesn't even matter if anybody falls in love with you, as long as you love yourself. if you get to fall in love with pieces of yourself everyday, you're okay. 

my life is shitty, but i like it. i want it to change. but i like it. after all, that's the drill of life, sometimes you love it, sometimes you hate it, and i'm okay with that. i'm okay with being hurt, happy, sad, angry, mad, hated, loved, liked, disliked, i'm okay with all of it. 

as long as my heart and mind are at peace with each other, i'll be okay.

if i have to wake up and live everyday, i might as well be happy, until i'm really happy..