Edward Apple and Clutch McMurphy

Edward Apple leaped onto the back of the crocodile straddling as much of the beast as he could with his legs, all the while humming the tune "Salting Pork."

 Clutch McMurphy watched from behind the railing of the exhibit. He had his phone out and was recording the scene unraveling before him. 

"This is why I come around..." He said to himself, with a pleased little half smile.

The crowd of onlookers was doing the same. 

If someone is going to be an idiot, why not an idiot for posterity.

Clutch liked Apple's style, though. It was hard not to. The man did the most insane things and somehow managed to come out the other end unscathed. 

Insane? Undeniably.

Successful? Absurdly so. 

Entertaining? Absolutely.

 A potential hazard to himself and everyone else? Well, yes. Yes and no. But, mostly yes and somehow no.

There was no explaining it. You just had to be there to understand. 

And Clutch made sure he was.

A general gasp came from the spectators. Edward Apple, with his narwhale bone blade, a long and heartwarming story, cut into the shining waxy white underside of the aged crocodile. The croc went wild, thrashing and rolling with Apple clinging on to its back, blade still pushing, probing...

The large crocodile rolled onto its back submerging Apple under the shallow water of the zoo exhibit. With a final shudder, the scaled beast sagged, unmoving.

Sirens wailed their approach.

15 Hours Later

"I still don't get it," said Clutch, shaking his head as he lifted his pint of beer for a swig. "How did you convince them to let you go?"

"I told them of the blood debt Frugd as' Da owned to me. That was enough."

Apple knocked aside a tangle of his untamed brown hair  "The old as' Da honored himself in his death." He said with a solemn face. "I will wear his boots with pride."