What now?

They say each day starts with a new beginning.  The challenge for me is to figure out exactly what that new beginning should be.  You see, I have spent the last 22 years being a mom.  Granted, I still have a teenager, but he doesn't seem that interested in spending time with me.  Those on-line gaming enemies and challenges with his friends are far more alluring to him. As long as there are groceries in the pantry, he seems good to go.

I spent so many years stressing about getting to and from work and school activities and balancing the calendar with not enough hours in the day.  My newfound "extra time" has been filled with laundry and household chores.  Oh, the days I craved for a clean house. Well, it seems that day has arrived and I don't really enjoy cleaning that much after all.

Being a mom is something I'm good at. I can micromanage with the best of them and bark out orders to my little minions like nobody's business. But now that the nest is basically empty, I find myself a little lost. I'm now trying to figure out what I'm good "for".  

Many articles suggest starting a new hobby, striking up old friendships, get that organizing done you've been putting off.  And, trust me, it's great to have that time back, but it definitely doesn't make me feel "needed".  

I think that's the main struggle in my mind.  I can volunteer for all kinds of committees and church activities, but, let's face it, I'm not necessarily needed.  There's always someone else to fill those shoes.

However, being a mom......well, that's a job where you truly are irreplaceable.  Absolutely no one else in the world can take my place.  I'm sure I made many mistakes along the way, but I don't think my kids' counseling bills will be too high, although they may have a different opinion.  

I know I still need to answer the phone and have hugs ready for their authentic real-world problems and obstacles as they face them, but those are becoming more and more spaced out.  As it turns out, they're pretty good at micromanaging themselves.

Other articles suggest it's time for my husband and I to start dating again.  The challenge there is we are two totally different people than we were two decades ago.  We sure can't stay up until 3 a.m. clubbing the night away.  However, if last call was at 10 p.m., we might still be good to go!

If we were to have too many drinks, it might take a week to recover. Gone are the days of "ladies night" and still making it to work on time the next day. Plus, no one wants to see me in my '80s spandex outfits, parachute pants, and banana clips. 

So, World, look out.  I am on a mission to find out what I'm good "for" and I have no idea where this may lead me.  It could be exciting or it could be comical, but, regardless, this is happening.  As my children leave this nest to discover the world and find themselves, then it's time for me to do so also......again.