A morning commute

“You’ve been well.”

The rhythmic chugging of trains echoed in the platform. Kira stood facing the doors of the train as they opened, people pouring in and out with suitcases and damp umbrellas in hand. Next to her stood a tall man in a trim suit and tie. His face, compared to what she remembered from years ago, had acquired a handsome firmness that only came with age. He had traded his glasses for contacts but was still easily recognizable; his thick eyebrows and strict upright posture gave him away easily. She could identify every single change in his appearance—new leather shoes (he had never worn oxfords in school, much less leather), new watch, shorter hair, broader shoulders. Even in the dim underground light, Kira did not miss the slim gold band that adorned his left ring finger.

She hadn’t known—he was married now? To whom? When? Why hadn’t she known, why hadn’t anyone told her?

“I suppose I have,” Kira said as the doors closed in front of her. The gust of wind that accompanied the exiting train mussed her short hair. “You look well yourself, Mamoru.”

He gave a soft sound in agreement, barely audible among the echoing noise.

“Where are you headed today?” He turned slightly to look down at her. “Work?”

Kira shook her head. “Just meeting a friend in Ginza. You?”

“Off to the office. It’s in Nihonbashi.”

He spoke softly, almost tiredly. Kira had to strain to hear him.

“Ah.”

Another train approached the platform behind them. Kira could feel the ground vibrate softly, sensing the movement through her feet and spine, as she toyed with the red string of her bracelet. Somehow, this all felt very surreal and a little bit cruel. After all, next to her stood the man that, at one point in time, she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. She hadn’t thought of him in years, but seeing him suddenly made every other thought in her head irrelevant.

But what could she do? She did not know him anymore; he certainly did not know her.

The lights of their train illuminated the far end of the tunnel. Kira grasped the curved wooden handle of her umbrella firmly as if the movement of the train would sweep her off the ground.

It slowed to a stop, glass doors opened, and Kira boarded the train. She hated travelling this time in the morning. In the packed car of salarymen, there was barely any room to breathe or think straight. Mamoru stood wedged between her and an old lady carrying a large sack of peaches. No conversation carried. The only sounds were the chugging of the train, the quiet shifting of bodies, and the cheery-voiced PA system.

“Arriving at Ginza Station. Next stop: Kyobashi station. Please exit from the door on the right.”

“This would be my stop,” Kira said as she turned to Mamoru and made her way to the exit. “It was nice meeting you again.”

She did not hear his response as she stepped out. The flow of people in and out of the train was its usual organized chaos and the sounds of the station swamped whatever Mamoru said, if he had said anything at all.

She walked out, quickly escaping the counter-stream of boarding passengers and made her way to the wall. Leaning on the tile and taking a deep breath, Kira clutched her umbrella tightly with both hands and then relaxed as she exhaled. The platform continued to bustle about her as she stood still with her eyes closed, taking in the damp, musky feel of the station.

“Um, excuse me.”

She opened her eyes. A man, clad in a white tee and jeans, held a beaded bracelet out to her.

“I think you dropped this.”

Kira immediately looked down at her bare right wrist and then back to the frayed red string of the bracelet. “Oh, yes. Thank you.”

“Here,” he took the untied bracelet in both hands and held it up. “Hold out your wrist—I’ll put it on for you.”

She did as he said. The man’s hands were large and coarse, but they worked with surprising delicacy and gentleness as he tied the ends of the string together around her wrist.

“There,” he said as he pulled the red thread tight. His hands lingered around her wrist for a moment before dropping back to his side. Kira gave him a small smile.

“Thank you.”

The sound of endless trains and people echoed and filled the platform, but the man spoke loud and clear.

“No problem.”