Cycles of the Moon

The smartest person in the world is the person who admits to know nothing. Socrates. That was not exactly how I felt when I began the day that felt like the first day of my life. At first I didn't really notice, I thought things were going as they had always been. When I got downstairs however and my eyes had opened a bit and were becoming accustomed to the morning light I starting realizing little things that I had not thought of before. 

"If I arranged my books this way I could fit 80% more books in this space."

Where did that thought come from?

"This coffee is exactly 5.7 degrees too warm"

I didn't know I had a thermometer for a tongue.

I eyed the dying plant on the window sill next to the television.

"The PH in this soil is too high for this plant" 

What was going on? Full moon or what?

Immediately having that thought my brain ran over numbers and figures and physics of all things and came to the conclusion that the moon has no effect on my mental capacities. 

I didn't even take physics in high school.

The rest of the morning I sat inside thinking that I was having some sort of mental episode. Maybe this is a dream? Maybe I'm having some sort of personality crisis? Maybe it was a "bit of undigested cheese."

I turned on the television. After five minutes of channel flicking I turned it off. The soap operas which I loved to watch had no lure. The people on the cooking channel were cooking food I would consider no better than slop for pigs and on every home and gardening show I could find, the script and the realities of life crushed my soul as I watched a couple argue over why they couldn't possibly decide which house was the most perfect to buy on one of the Hawaiian Islands. On their budget they couldn't possibly afford house number 2 and the walking! They stated they were not active people and said they would not get a car due to cost... but the town is 2 miles away... 

Wait... do I even have a soul?

Finally something that puzzled me. I smiled to myself triumphant in not being an omniscient being.

I left the house and wandered down the street. I thought about how arbitrary the days of the week were and quietly picked up litter from the sidewalk as I went. Why did I do that? 

My first human interaction of the day was with an elderly neighbour named Jeanette. She was watering the flower bed in her front yard. She waved and bellowed 

"Good morning neighbour"

Wait the I before E rule... nEIghbour... Frustration befell me.

I walked right past her thinking of the over watering she did, the chances of causing drought and the stupid I before E except after C rule. I'm sure that if I had thought about it long enough I could construct the perfect language.

I don't know how I knew that I could. I was no linguist... until apparently 5 seconds after my NOT-INTERACTION with Jeanette. 

Three blocks away I stopped and said Good Morning Jeanette but I had been so busy that I missed her entirely and began the walk back to talk to her. Hopefully I wouldn't miss her again.