My hardest/and yet “blessed” day..

She picked you up Sunday night for the 16th day of revival at church. Her boyfriend is with her, but there seems to be a sense of emptiness in the air, a void that contains sadness. 

You watch her singing on the worship team, she's smiling, she's praising God, but then her face turns an ashen gray. She sits down on the stool and pure disappointment passes over. You don't know why, but you sense "something is wrong?!" There's nothing you can do except watch, worry, and try to tell yourself, "this will pass, maybe she has a headache? Are her ulcers bothering her?" The only thing you are thinking is "thank God..at least both of them decided to show up?!"

The Pastor starts calling people from the congregation for healing. The first one is her. She's reluctant, but agrees to go to the alter. She grabs my hand, but decides this is for her. 

The Pastor begins to speak out loud, "I called you out because I was watching you, you seem sick, and at one point you sat down. There's something wrong in your stomach isn't there?"

She says, "I have ulcers and I'm not feeling good."

He says, "There's something else, but only God can help you with that...

He begins to pray for her ulcers, she starts shaking like a leaf and starts crying. She stays up there with another girl, they speak, she's still crying. You're happy her ulcers aren't bothering her, but was she really speaking about ulcers?

Revival starts to wind down. You notice it's getting really late. You bring up that it's time to end a great night, "We had better get going?" She agrees. It's time to break the question...all you hear is "fine."

The ride home again is too quiet. You break it up with questions her boyfriend has about church. Your worrisome about her begins to 

disappear. You continually talk with him until you notice she is parking her car at your home. She turns off the ignition, something is wrong. 

"I need to talk to you...about Moe and me." She begins to tremble, she can't look at you in the eyes.

"What's the matter!" You start to become upset, thinking the worst, does she have an illness?

"Please don't tell me you're pregnant?!" You don't know why you blurted this out, maybe it's the hell you went through in 1979? You begin to close your eyes and pray it's something else. "This girl is too young" you begin thinking.

"Yes..." She says, along with a "please don't be mad at us" half cocked smile on his face.

All you can say is "Oh God! What are you going to do!?" She's an adult, she's not a baby anymore, she's the responsible one, the one who always swore she would be a virgin when she married. She's the one who kept her promises to herself, nobody needs to keep them to anyone but themselves.

You start to cry, worry, ask questions, repeat yourself, and then Courtney, with the bluest eyes of the sea says, "All I want, all I need, is your support, without that I will not be able to live out the next 8 months. Please hold me?"

With that, I cried, prayed with them, held her, held him and said...

"Children are Gods Blessings."

She took themselves away, leaving me with hope, questions, and an understanding..."They're in Gods hands, and I can't do anything about it, except pray a little more each day.....