The bins had been evolving on Mars.

Nobody knew how or why and the exact history behind their existence on the unprotected Martian surface was inconsistent and vague.

Binologists maintained that there were only two viable theories; the Extratrashestrian Theory (soon proved impossible) postulated that the bins were aliens from an as-yet-undiscovered planet and they were now in a stage of revealing themselves; the Intradumpty Theory of Trasholution contraindicated that the bins were in fact a product of humans-past and were reaching a stage at which we may be beginning to recognise them as a new species.

There were two subsets to each theory and they both split at the point of considering the bin’s intentions and therefore how best humanity should prepare. One side of each argued they should observe from afar and, at most, probe them for any signs of communicative power; the antithesis was heralded as key to the alternative subset: nuke the bins before they bin-nuked us.

A third theory - considered now by all sides in retrospect - was proposed by 9-year-old Alison Grasswood-Mountainview to her professor of Binology, Joffrey Bluetooth, and that was the following: the bins were just bins but inside the bins were space rats.

The only downside to Alison’s theory was that, as far as Binologists were aware, there was no such thing as a space rat.

Politicians were quick to throw their hats in the ring or swing their pseudo-science-decorated feet in their mouths but popular culture couldn’t get a good grip on a far-flung intelligence that they were still used to putting burnt eggs inside.

Within the time it takes for an unexpected and enrapturing television program to become an insolently absent court jester, bins were yesterday’s moon cats. Scientists on liberally informative infotainment slots tried their best to sex up the concept of a sentient refuse collective but they only made for desperate examples of the limitations of knowledge when it came to the come-hither powers regarding the concept of a living dirt box.

3 years later, by which time Alison was now more interested in pop stars than Martian refuse receptacles, a very small group of people from all sides of Binology got sick of waiting, broke through the weakly secured doors leading out to the bins - possibly after drinking a lot of shots during several bets about bins - and investigated the bins by hand.

It was often said of the decline-inclined that they lacked the gumption to take on science that was active or evolving but on this day they had proven their field could be a petri dish for the growth of true heroes of the field; they weren’t taking facts on the dormant and had had it with stagnancy, although Stag Nancy had offered to procure samples.

Apart from one of them dying due to not wearing a space suit after losing at strip poker, they found what a lot of the science community – and a now-12-year-old girl – suspected: space rats.

Having now known space rats had existed for ten years, the scientific community were not surprised. This was exactly the sort of thing space rats were known to do, anyway, they decided to award the team of Binologists medals for tenacity, after all they were space badgers.