learn to breathe

I live in a world where air and water are opposite.

I am constantly drowning.

drowning, drowning.

Water rushes in, filling my lungs.

The torture is unfathomable, 

my body writhes aching and desperate for oxygen.

This is my everyday life.

Constantly, I must dilute what is truly on my mind.

I have never had a true connection to someone where I could freely discuss all that intrigues me without restraint in some form or another.

It makes me sad to think I haven't one person in my life that may understand me.

I have so many levels, I barely know myself.

I just wish someone would take the time to help me understand who I am.

The ever present feeling that I must watch what I say looms over me.

I continuously hold back my true ideas and thoughts kept back by a dam.

But, the dam is near breaching, and I don't know how much more I can take of patching it up.

I'm afraid to speak, the thing I fear most is the mocking of my true self.

What if I say the wrong thing to the wrong person?

But at this point i'd rather bring down the whole dam, and unleash all the things I have been coaxing back.

I want to let the all that has been pent up flow wildly and fierce through every possible word that drips from my lips.

And who knows? Maybe some trickle of my thoughts might be of some importance.

How wonderful it would be to mean something to the world.

So damn to what society thinks unintelligent and ignorant,

No one person know everything and I find comfort in that.

I refuse to sit and drown any longer, I want to learn how to breathe and use my lungs as God intended.

Oxygen is a precious gift that we have come to look down upon, people rather drown than to live.

I am the only person who thinks the way I think, and sees the world as I see it.

There is no one perception of the world, so who's to say one singular person's is correct?

Why are we allowing ourselves to drown out who we are?

I have so many questions about how people work.

The fact that there is no one correct answer to how things should be perceived is fascinating.

From this point on, I refuse to hold back my thunderous wave, and I will be afloat the vast ocean full of people sinking to the bottom.

I choose to breathe and let my body rise to the surface.

This is the first breath I have taken in a long while, and how liberating it feels.

So I encourage, accept the way you are and stop drowning, let your dams breach and ride the wonderfully wild waves that flow from its demise.

Learn to breathe.