This pulsing inside my head. Why wont it go away? I feel like I never sleep. How could I sleep when my brain refuses to shut off? You could be the smartest person on earth but there is always more to learn. My dreams they are vivid. My dreams they are substantial. But my dreams make me feel like I never sleep. I feel like 100% of my brain is being used and it just never quits. I can tell you the whole English line of session. I can tell you any line of session in history. Anything you find in a book I probably know the answer. But what happens when you die? Knowing everything just frightens you even more. As human sapiens we thirst for knowledge. But what happens when you are knowledge? It's like Adam and Eve when they took a bite of the forbidden fruit. It was like a drug the way life appeared. It was magical, beautiful but deadly. How can I make friends when I will always know more than them? Will I become a lab rat? What else can I learn? I feel like I'm on a roller coaster my mind is going too fast to keep up. My diaphragm contracts and moves downward. My lungs expand. Knowing how exactly you breathe and how exactly your heart pumps blood almost makes you want to control it. Ever heard about the fact that if you think about something to much it can take away from it naturally happening. I feel like my breathing is constricting. What if I forget to inhale? What if the right side of my cardiac muscle forgets to pumps blood to the lungs to pick up oxygen. My brain can not possibly do all these things at once. I know the answer to world peace. I could tell everyone but history proves that someone out there will ruin it. It is human nature to be selfish. Knowledge can not defy human emotions. Knowledge can not overcome sin just as it can not overcome love. "Sæpe ingenia calamitate intercidunt". When did I read the book The Phædrus by Plato? How do I even know who that is? When did I learn Latin? What should I do today? Should I reveal the cure for cancer? 8.8 million people died from cancer alone in 2015. But 15 million people die from heart disease and strokes annually. How do I chose? What if no one believes me? What if the government tries to stop me? Curing diseases is not good for medical care revenue. Oh I can not handle this.
I just want to sleep.
I just want to sleep.
Maybe I will just write everything down. Everything down on paper but I do not have paper, but i have walls! My body can not physically handle this stress. It wont be able to withstand this stress much longer. My brain is probably too fast to communicate in an understandable way anyways. I will just write, write until I die. Maybe it will keep me sane. Maybe it will stop me from thinking about the inevitable aneurysm that is going to happen with in the walls of my skull. The sad thing is if I knew the exact moment my brain would bleed out I would be able to tell someone how to save me. But do I really want to live with overwhelming knowledge? Do I really want to think anymore.
No no no
I will just let it happen. I will just write till it happens.
Just write Just write.
It may be chaotic hopefully the world doesn't assume it was written by a mental patient and throw away all the knowledge I am gifting them with...
My hands are shaking. I can feel the germs and diseases lurking around the room.
I know all about the radiation that is sent through our air. I must throw out all electronics before I write.
No no no
Stay on track stay on track
Why does my my brain have to go so fast?
I just want this to end
I just want this to end
Write Write Write
Write it all down