Like, Dude, Seriously...You’re Totally Summer!

Dude, I seriously just noticed that you’re totally like summer! You’re even hotter than the hotties I see at the beach, and I’m definitely stoked on you. All of these other guys suck, but you are the dude for me—way more interesting than anyone I’ve ever met. Your bros aren’t that great, but the fact that you’re so rad literally makes me not care anymore. Sometimes I worry that other chicks are going to take you away from me, because you are just soooooooo attractive or that you won’t be cool anymore and instead boooooring, but like, it’s NOT that big of a deal. I’m seriously so in love with you, like if you don’t believe me, I don’t know who will. Like, you know, you might change and that’s totally fine, but remember, the love we have for each other in our hearts, it’s never going to ever die…like ever! Plus, who wouldn’t want to date me, I’m fab—no, I’m perf. Like if you reject me right now, no one will even know who you are and if you want everyone to say, “Whoa, look who that dude’s dating?” then you have to accept me, riiiiiiiiiiiight? I know you’re cool and all, like I said, very rad, but if you don’t date me, then it’s just going to like fade away and that is not cool. You seem like a chill, dude, who knows what’s going on, so I’ll leave it at that. We should like date and y’know, be one together like all the cool couples and definitely become the next, I don’t know Brangelina. If that doesn’t sound like a good offer, then you, my dude, are missing out.