Butterfly
“The accommodations chosen to house the witness hardly argue for sentience!”
“Your Honour, defence is merely casting imprecations. The witness is a former population cluster leader from one of their most significant planetary sectors. As we speak, work is proceeding on proper envoy-level housing. His current accommodation is exigent – the, uh…facilities are the most appropriate available.
But, the overriding consideration is they are a sentient species; it is defamatory and illegal to name said species without consent!”
The judge signalled exasperation: “Calm down councillor, we know the law. The point is whether they were sentient when their discoverer named them.”
“Asked and given in evidence, your Honour!”
“Borderline sentience at best,” protested defence.
“That sounds like concession.” And while the judge appraised defence with brooding scrutiny, the prosecution pressed ahead.
“Furthermore, we give notice that when this court finds in our favour we intend to move for impeachment – we cannot have a Galactic Imperator who disregards the law –a criminal who rides roughshod over the rights of minorities!”
Shrubb regarded his immaculately reconstituted Texas ranch-house with disgust. Out back was garden prairie; out front was airless, shattered moonscape. Now and then a troop of fairy lights passed by. When that happened the front of the house turned transparent and he felt sure he was being observed.
The TV programs and books were years out of date by now but fortunately the reconstituted scotch was ok.
He remembered how he got there and wished he’d never been so stupid…
I was unwinding in a ritzy Manhattan bar with my people after some do when this dude schmoozed up – retro threads, silvery skin and a funny way of talking. Says he’s a galactic lawyer! But he had some wild party tricks and was a laugh so I told the service guys to lay off.
Later, he got closer and I knew he was going to pitch. I thought I’d heard them all.
He said, “What would you do if a ranking alien leader disrespected humanity?”
“You kidding! How so?”
“By calling you names.”
Now, I knew about not letting anybody disrespect me and what I stood for. I also knew people tended to get het up about negative stereotyping – sexism, racism , religious sensitivities and such-like.
“Can’t do that. I’ll whup his ass. What he say anyhow?”
“He claims he is the discoverer of humanity and he has named you ‘Gonnablowmi Ownaldtrumpeti’.”
“You kidding! He better watch his mouth!”
“Its been published in academic journals all over the galaxy.”
“He can’t do that. I’m gonna call him on it!”
“Are you sure?”
“Whadya mean? ’Course I’m sure.”
“Let us be absolutely clear on this,” he said, whipping out some kind of gizmo. “Would you, George Shrubb, stand up in galactic court and challenge the appellation of ‘Gonnablowmi Ownaldtrumpeti’ to your species?”
“Darn right I would!”
My Lawyer says I can’t go home till the trial is over. But I’m glad to be doing something for humanity.