we met too soon

i know that someday you will try to find me. but by the time you find this letter, i will have gone wandering, with you in my thoughts to somewhere far away, somewhere so different. i will not tell you where i'm going because you might come after me. i think it's better if you don't know.

i expect that when you finally see this, you'll be angry, but i have become adept at never expressing what i really think and feel that i find it simpler to let them flow through a pen.

pushing myself away from you and creating a great distance between us was one of hardest decisions i have ever made, but it's all because i want to protect you. your world and mine are such different places. perhaps they were identical for one moment, but that was just it. everything about you was a striking contrast to everything and around me.

i crossed the line - from where i was in control of my emotions to where my emotions were in control of me. you filled my depressing and bleak existence with colors that i had never seen before.

but in all, we are only a moment. we are only transient guests of each other's life. maybe you were just a phase in my life. and maybe, i was in yours too.

ive learned a long time ago that you can't save people from themselves or from life. its their job to do that. its my job to figure it out on my own. that is what i am trying to do. save yourself and carry one. live. grow. explore. get to know people. look after yourself.

the uncertainty of the future dangles over us, and i will never know where your heart will take you but i'm certain that there will be a time for us to see each other again. and by that time, i hope both of us have healed.

sorry for the silence.

thank you for existing.

even if we never talk again, i will always wish you well.