BANISHED

Celia had not wanted to go to their house that Saturday morning. Laura said John wanted to talk to her about her finances.

“I have lost sleep worrying about this.” He exclaimed, “I want a plan. This is something that affects all of us and we have hired an elder care attorney. Her expertise is mediation and she will help mediate a plan.”

John gave Celia an ultimatum, “Meeting with this attorney is not negotiable,” he declared.

At that point Celia turned to her daughter who was looking down, fiddling with the hem of her blouse, hoping she would get some support. Instead, Laura answered “It’s not negotiable Mom. You have to agree to meet with the attorney.”

Celia was never sure what they wanted to plan. She assumed that this proposed mediation was in regard to resources for her future care. She assumed that John, ever the neurotic, was concerned she would have to come live with them. Laura had been on board to look at her finances. She had wanted to help, mentioning especially Celia’s long term care policy. For the last couple of years Celia’s son wanted to buy Celia’s home and establish a life estate

Celia was never asked what she wanted. She told them she was willing to talk but not with an attorney.

When Celia got home, she sat in her kitchen staring out the window drinking a cup of coffee, dumfounded. She sensed a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that comes with the realization that something very bad had just happened.

The meeting was never scheduled and there were no more conversation. Laura would not respond to Celia’s pleas for communication.

At Christmas Celia wrote a note to Laura, “I am asking that for whatever fears or anger you have, please let me have the chance to talk to you. Not talking only weighs heavily and does not allow for a conclusion to any concerns nor any forward motion” read the note.

Then a letter came.

Mom, it read.

“Throughout my life your interests are and have always been centered on yourself. I am disappointed in you, your selfishness and lack of love for me. I need space to process the grief I feel for the lack of the mother I have always longed for and the mother I do not, and have never had. I am my own person. I am strong and separate from you. Right now, I cannot love my life with you in it. Please leave me be.”

Celia never spoke with her daughter again.