Blue Lemonade

You peeled me open like the yellow skin

of a banana, ripe with spotted anticipation.

I never knew it was coming.

That first day I saw you across

the blazing heat of that cracked parking lot

cracked smile that matched my crooked soul

my lips split open like a cavernous chasm and light flew out like

the first break of morning.

You sipped blue lemonade, hazy eyes aimed directly at me.

The venom worked wonderfully,

swiftly descending like a vulture on a rotting corpse, we gazed not at

but through each other

and I realized there'd be no fix greater than you.

Gathered remnants of the night before from my torn pocket.

Snow wrapped in finger-sized plastic,

a tiny promise of rapture in powdered form.

Dropped like a wistful memory

it hit the pavement like a broken dream.

You shattered my soul like that perfect dust shattered my mind,

except one I could recover from.

You peeled me open like a beggar peels the wrapping from his first meal,

delighted by its contents.

I was candy in your presence

I was your muse, your trinket

You were my kaleidoscope

the color in my sky

my savior and my storm,

my fix.

You broke me like a scoundrel breaks an oath,

the tendrils of my splintered gut fell in ribbons on the floor.

I was a tossed vessel in your ocean, lost in your words but transfixed

by the possibilities.

A snapped twig in the twisted forest of exquisite delusion.

Abandoned by reason, foolish and numb

I was not afraid of you.

I was immune to your harm but seduced by your facade,

fractured in a thousand places yet convinced of my resilience.

I was wrong.

You were the death of me, that quiet black night.

You sucked the life from my fragile soul and left me forgotten,

deserted by my better half,

my sanity.

You destroyed me when i realized

you were the part of me I failed to kill a long time ago.