Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo: Exposed

Everyone remember that Disney Cinderella story? Well that’s only part of it. You see, they only gave us Cinderella’s perspective to make it a little more children friendly. Let me tell you how everyone else saw it.

First of all, that big mansion Cinderella lived and served in? Yeah, that was the prison. Why was she in prison? Hm well I do wonder where dear Cinderella’s mother is; I believe she’s “gone”. As for the chores, Cinderella was made to work in the laundry room and the kitchen.

In her “family” life, her evil stepmother and stepsisters were actually just the warden and her cell mates. Sure, maybe they weren’t the nicest, but they were in prison, were they not?

Now Cindy here was a little messed up in the head. She always had been. (That’s kind of why she offed her mom. Whoops!) She was competent enough to get through the court system without being given a mental evaluation though. Ironic, right? So, in this mansion of hers, the poor girl was always seeing these mice. What better to do than give them names? And just like that, we’ve got Jaq and Gus!

Now please just try to picture this how everyone else saw it. You’ve got this woman sitting in her jail cell, in the laundry room, or in the kitchen not only talking but singing to the walls, floor, or into her hands! Not exactly something you see every day.

Here’s where the story really gets good.

I surely hope you recall the scene when Cindy’s little mice are remaking her dress for her. Now give this a thought: if she’s in prison and the mice are imaginary, then what really happened? Well here’s what the others saw. They were minding their own business until some of the other women found Cindy. She had been left alone in her cell. When her cell mates came back, she was laying on the floor laughing slightly, blood dripping out from all over her flesh. She had gotten ahold of a plastic toothbrush and broken it. She’d used it to tear at her skin. She must have imagined that it was going to make her beautiful.

After that day, she was no longer an inmate, but a resident of the infamous insane asylum. But of course that’s not the way Cindy saw it. So now we get into the magic.

So when her fairy godmother comes to save the day with a new dress, everyone else saw a cut up, bloody girl being put into a straightjacket. The magical carriage was just any old county transportation van. The Prince’s ball? Nothing special, your everyday mental ward.

Now the last mystery remains: who is the Prince, and what are the magic glass slippers? The answer may (not) surprise you. Cindy here wasn’t exactly trusted to be out of her straightjacket alone, but a girl’s got to shower, right? So everyday, a young nurse came in and helped her put on clear shower shoes and take her into the showers.

I think Cindy’s imagination just got a bit carried away with the wedding. Who can blame her?