The Gay Agenda To-Do List

1.) Be born.

2.) Notice you are different from the other boys or girls, and you are not sure how.

3.) Go through puberty.

4.) Now you are sure how.

5.) Learn that the word that describes you is an insult word.

6.) Learn that all of the words that describe you are insult words.

7.) Think about suicide.

8.) See positive gay people on TV or Internet, think it gets better.

9.) Get beaten up by the football team.

10.) Graduate High School a virgin.

11.) Spend your entire 20's correcting that condition numerous times in numerous ways with numerous guys.

12.) Find one guy to love.

13.) Lose your job when your boss finds out you are gay.

14.) Move in with your new love.

15.) Plan to adopt children.

16.) Plan his funeral.

17.) Be homeless when his parents kick you out of the place you lived in for ten years since to them you were just the "roommate" since you were never legally married.

18.) Nation wins the legal right to get married, but a bit too late for you.

19.) Move in with a woman you met in college, she had a crush on you, she got married to some other gay guy, and is now divorced.

20.) She meets a guy who is actually straight. She says you can stay, but you know you have to go.

21.) Live in your car.

22.) Get new job in gay coffee house, sleep on a cot in the back room.

23.) Meet a man.

24.) Serve him coffee every day.

25.) Fall in love.

26.) Actually get married this time.

27.) Move in together, adopt three Cantonese kids and three Siamese cats.

28.) Live Happily Ever After.