Broken

Her laughter broke the silence. She hadn't meant to laugh. It just came out. 'It was funny,' she thought. 'Funny how I could possibly think that, even for a moment, my mother loves me.' Her light chuckle echoed for a moment then faded. She was all alone. She always had been. No father to hold her when she fell and scraped her knee. No mother to kiss her on the forehead and pull her into a loving embrace after her first day at school. No. She never really had parents. She had strangers. Adults who would drink and argue and ignore her unless she was of some use at the moment.

Her father left last week. She found herself thinking 'good riddance' as she watched the man pull out of the drive way with a woman she had never seen before in the passenger seat. Today, her mother gave her a hug and apologized. Then begged for her forgiveness. Pleaded for another chance at being a proper mom. The girl didn't know what to think when she caught the smell of lavender on her mother's clothes. Normally she had the scent of alcohol and cigarette smoke. But it was lavender. It reminded her of a time before. When they still functioned properly. When they weren't a broken home. 'There's no way that woman actually has any form of regard other than hatred for me, right?' A tear slid playfully down her cheek and dropped onto her knee. That was all it took. The first tear had a friend follow closely after, then came the flood. 'I don't know what to do any more. How can I accept my mother as a mom now, when she hasn't been for the past seventeen years?'