A Modest Advertisement

I saw an ad in the paper yesterday,

and you might be curious what it had to say.

At first I thought it was a joke, you see -

whether horrific or hilarious is up to you and me.

But the more I think of it, the more I believe

a joke like this no normal person could conceive.

It is written in rhyme, as I suppose is right -

appropriate for those with a literary bite.

If you're curious, look ahead to read

the full-page ad for librarians who will feed.

Wanted: Cannibal Librarians

     This miserable town is terribly crowded

     and not by those who we would say are well-read.

     If ignorance is bliss, then this town should be euphoric,

     but stupidity and inanity cause nothing but choleric!

     Innumerable dunces wander the street

     Shuffling dumbly as though with clubfeet.

     A true traffic hazard with heads bowed to phones, 

     Dozens and dozens of Kardashian drones!

      If we fail to act now, true readers of this town,

      the morons will transform your children into clowns!

      We must act for true literature, politics, philosophy -

       or else education will stutter and atrophy!

      I therefore propose a necessary action,

      and I curse this paper should there be a redaction! 

      We, caretakers of the world yet to come, 

      must devour the uncaring -leave not a crumb!

      With homo sapien -phagia, 

      we will prevent knowledge's euthanasia!

      If interested join me at the library Wednesday next.

      At our first meeting we decide the leaders of the sect.

      The Cannibal Librarians, we will of course be called,

      and under our reign, the illiterate will be mauled.

      Of course they will not anticipate our feed,

      for which of them would pick up this newspaper to read?