At Least This Cheating is Legal
He’d been my puny jade eyed kindergarten classmate. Today he coasts on his charm and boasts a flourishing career in movies you’d call salacious, carrying off his smutty roles with panache. Has an endearing resemblance to Robb Stark in the Game of Thrones TV series. Once gangly, bespectacled and packed on a thousand pound gorilla fat, this guy is heartbreakingly handsome now with fitness training.
Karma can be a bitch.
I’ll call my friend A. In the throwback years, he’d rented a cinema hall for a private screening of his first risqué role in ‘The Hot Toffee.’ Close friends, patrons and media were invited. A was to be shown in several sexually explicit acts with his scorching onscreen mate. Shall I call her B? A’s ‘wifey’ was to see the primal skin connect right there with A and B seated on either side of her.
Onscreen B was declaring theatrically,” It is at the edge of a petal love waits.” The crimson furls of a rose stretched out invitingly, fertile, available and desirable, a matching spectrum to her evening gown, a riot of russet and gold. Meanwhile A’s wife sat with deep poise. Her rhinestone earrings nodding away to the see saw of her head movements. A’s wife, a ‘Vicerene’ with her own brand of pizzazz! Her smile couldn’t betray the wounded eyes.
Forwarding the reel! B sipped out of her Grey Goose Flute Champagne glass, in a sassy style. A was swishing the Pinot Noir, forming puddles with matchless rhythm. And then he disrobed her! Humping! Pumping!
I saw A’s wife battle timeless emotions. Her heart on fire, not to be gutted by all domestic fire tenders.
Later A addressed the media mandarins. The press asked A’s wife her reaction to her husband’s ‘Adam’s tool enters Eve’s cave’ scenes. She dismissed it by the clichéd ‘I support my husband’s professional demands’ kinda statements.
“Don’t need to peal my soul like the skin of an orange. My heart is dancing on a naked sword and I’m enjoying the bloody taste.” This statement by A made headlines. The movie a blockbuster! “What spurred you to take on this role?”
A’s answer, “Credit my ‘wifey’! Last year I was dropping a pregnant fan home from my ‘clean movie’ shooting set. Must have been Freud’s crank cousin! Accused me of being the father of her kid!!! I bribed the posse and her family to hush the matter. Had medical exam aft baby got delivered. Turns out I can’t ever be a father, reports say. Later she said she’s a psychology student wanting to study the effect of shocking a star.” A continued, “Then all along who’s been the father/fathers of the two kids I’ve given my surname to?”
“At least my movie role cheating is legal!”
Media clapped! A got divorced. Got married to ‘C’ the next heroine of the flicks he featured in to legally cheat, bagging a million dollar contract with a production house ‘SKINNOCENCE!’