Split

It wasn’t what you’d assumed it to be;

It was much more than a silly look or a grieving smile.

It wasn’t that you weren’t good enough, it’s that I wasn’t;

It was the choices I made that broke my sanity, not yours.

A day in the life of a dreaded decision is what hurt;

A meticulous plan, and a simple silver piece is what came of it;

A malicious glint and comforting words is what did it.

A shallow of blue and an ocean of red is what poured.

I called for your hand and you expertly declined;

I assumed you hated me, but who knew it was only because you were afraid.

I thought it was all my fault, that you hurt me, so I took it as a sign to flee;

I knew in reality that it had nothing to do with me, but it was already too late.

Your eyes terrified me in disgusted pleasure;

My hands were fearfully numb as you fiddled with my skin.

Things flashed, you smiled, I screamed, the walls laughed in wretched obscurity.

The sun fell and you shook, It’s all the same as it had been, so why are you scared?

It wasn’t what I’d assumed it to be;

It was much more than a frightened look or a painful grimace.

It wasn’t that you didn’t care, it’s that I wasn’t good enough.

It was the things you did to me that hurt you, not mine.

A day full of painful pleasure is what you wanted.

A disgusting decision and wrongful doings is what you chose.

A terrified glance and screaming is what you caused.

A bloody fight and terrified sobbing didn’t stop you.

You heard my pleas but shot me down with a second thought.

You loved me, but you didn’t know how bad it’d end up.

You knew what you were doing, that you hurt me, but you forced me to stay.

You knew it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t too late to tell me.

My eyes screamed yes, but I said no.

Your hands were steady as you slapped me.

Things flashed, you smiled, I screamed, the shadows screamed back.

The moon rose and I felt easy, nothing would ever be the same as it had been, so why am I not scared?