Condemned to fall

The weight of a raindrop changes~

at times, with no resistance from the skies.

Tonight, one saturated drop descends,

carrying the hell of my conscious mind.

It splatters upon impact in a deep-seated soak;

bared and breaking down;

blood and stinging tears touch the curb.

My bruised spirit drips into another hole,

while you see my soul darken,

through my eyes- caving in.

All of me, slopes heavily to the side.

I fall~ condemned, to join the puddles.

There, where the storm is brewing~

and, it is coming ....

heading into the dark always starts off

with rain, as if to chill my bones,

so that they may shake off

the fear that I tremble- like a coward.

Guilty of the sin that moves me,

I give in to its pull ....

The car door opens;

the radio dials my thoughts;

the station sings out my shame.

I watch your hands steering,

stare at the flashing red lights,

and get lost in the lamp posts.

The glow, streaming as we drive by.

Your mouth gets twisted in my mind,

but your hair still holds the perfect mess;

as mine, interrupts the wind~

hiding my face from the interrogating rain that's beating the window.

Tires drumming along, right through me.

My eyes clenched, as if to drift away,

but, I can still hear what you say;

I'm twisting it further~ still.

You read me like a book,

ripped open at the seam;

exposed~ for everything.

You can see me;

you can control me;

you can kill me; after all that-

you choose to love me.

Yet, it's all in my mind;

even locked away- still,

trying to find

somewhere safe to give my attention.

But cruise control has set in;

I'm visiting old miles I don't wish to trace.

Please, I can't take these trips no more ....

I pray, the storm dissipates

and that it won't still be here, come morning.

~Jessi