The Prince and the Pea

There was once a kind, noble and sexy prince who wanted to marry a pea.

The kind, noble, sexy prince was called Henry. The pea was called Pea. The prince was just the right size, quite attractive, very interesting and supremely funny. Everyone said he was a catch. The pea was small and round and green, it kept itself to itself and always ate its veg. The prince was a veg connoisseur. The wedding date was set and the guests invited. But the king wasn’t happy. The king was rarely happy. The queen was agoraphobic.

The king was a good king; he loved his son too much to see him throw his life away on a pea. He asked him why he was doing this. Why did he want a pea as a consort, a pea as a wife? But father, I like Pea; it doesn’t contradict me very often, maintains a consistently pleasing shape and colour and is pleasant to be around. I feel like the best version of myself when I’m with Pea. 

Preparations continued and the day of the wedding drew close. The prince was measured for his bespoke suit and the pea for a designer pod.