LIQUOR POUR FOR charlie murphy

Charlie Murphy narrated the funniest skit on the best sketch show in TV history.

It was made possible by his younger brother who, as long as he wanted to be, was the funniest man in the world.

Eddie gave up that position, voluntarily, for different reasons than Dave Chappelle.

It's kind of weird to think that Charlie was the right-hand man to the two funniest men over the last 25 years, and watched them both wipe their hands of it. While still in their primes.

It must've been like if Denzel finally felt like he was vibing with Jesus on the boardwalk about going to State, and then Jesus looked at his pops and said, "Sorry, Dad. Tell the warden I'm done with basketball."

Except Eddie and Dave weren't Jesus Shuttleworth. They were Game 6 MJ.

The SNL class behind Eddie didn't have a replacement. And, if Tosh.0 is the heir to The Chappelle Show, then Beyoncé is the next Marilyn Monroe.

My favorite Charlie Murphy character was Tyree, but my favorite memory of him is from the Player Haters' Ball. The Haters have all arrived, leaned against the bar, except Silky who strolls up solo, firing personalized barbs at Buc, Beautiful, and "Boss Hog".

Silky, from his interview chair, sets up the next scene which is a game called "Photo Flip". Fans of The Chappelle Show know, as we cut to the ballroom game scene, it's gonna be mostly improvised. The haters are relaxed and loose, and the filming location is the medium-sized conference room of a Ramada Inn that seems to usually house white men who think Monty Python is a riot.

Silky, under interview lamps with red hat pressing down his bangs explains the game, with the drag of his toothpick across every word, but especially the consonants in "monk", "trick", and "scallywags".

First up in "Photo Flip" is a poster of Puff Daddy on a red carpet. The group mocks his goofy smile and, when one of them says, "He got dolphin teeth," I erupt in a swallowed first-punching laughter you use when something hilarious happens during a Chappelle episode when you're trying not to laugh over the next joke.

By the time I can look back up, it's Ozzy Osbourne's family and Silky goes, "I like the song the girl sings: 'Papa Don't Preach'. I got a song for you too, bitch. It's called 'Daughter Don't Sing'."

The haters are starting to swing-laugh and they slowly sway in cadence with a movement toward the "ah lawd" we all feel coming from Dave. The best joke is coming. You know it.

The Chappelle Show is undefeated. It's not like a sports team, where you prepare for the letdown. Watching a great comedian in the zone is the ultimate human experience. It's the only thing that can occasionally eclipse a historic band in its peak.

Our gameshow host looks like Trina, and she flops down the next poster-board. It's Rosie O'Donnell.

Goddamn I'm gonna piss myself with excitement. It's an awful picture of Rosie too. Not a stomachable image of her, like you get when she's playing catcher for Madonna in A League of Their Own, or when she and LD are competing for the same woman in Curb.

Rosie's hips are angled toward the camera and she's recovering from some sort of Brian Bosworth situation above her left sideburn. If I ran a hermaphrodite clinic, this poster would adorn my wall in case I heard the parents of a newborn shim whisper, "Sigourney Weaver".

The haters get a couple chuckles from their cracks on Rosie before Silky leans back. He gets his feet under him.

I have one eye on Silky and one eye on Buc. Buc's anticipation gets me hype.

Silky's fur coat (fashioned from the pubic hair of his hate-hate-hating colleague) puffs out a little. Buc, to his right, dips his head and looks out the side of his eye at Silky. With Buc's eyes moving in different directions, I am reminded of the Charlie Murphy True Hollywood Stories where he describes the bouncer trying to break up his karate session with Rick James: "One eye was looking at me. The other eye was looking at Rick."

"She wears the underwear with dick holes in 'em," Silky says. Buc steps back, dips his hat, and gives a wide-mouth coyote cackle.

He trots a half-circle.

He breaks character. The way Eddie made people do on SNL.

Charlie wasn't Eddie. He wasn't Dave.

He was Tyree. "And yeah--I went to prison."

Charlie wasn't a standalone talent, like his older brother or new boss. But there were plenty of links between Charlie and Richard Pryor besides co-starring on a sketch comedy show with Paul Mooney.

"The entire period you in my room, I bet not see you stand up peeing. You in my room: you sit down to pee."

Dave Chappell was Tron. Charlie Murphy was Tyree.

In case anyone asks, he did not fuck Katie. Lysol had sex with Katie.

"No, Tyree, you had sex with me, too."

Correction: Tyree had sex with Katie.

Hard to imagine he finished her off with pancakes.

But, what Charlie Murphy helped us do with stories about his hero, is what his hero said to ladies right after Charlie Murphy's most famous line.

"I'm Rick James, bitch. Enjoy yourself."

I fucking did. Your aura or whatever, I seen it. It wasn't orange.

It was pure fucking gold. With dread locks coming out.

You were a habitual line-stepper and I will never forget the yarn you spun or what it looked like on Dave's forehead.

God rest your soul.