″...Damn, Your God Sounds Stupid.”

It's 11(-ish)AM and I somehow make it to the kitchen without remembering the journey there. Obviously coffee is in order so I make some glance at the morning news as thrown at me via the internet. Late morning? Not for people like me that often hit the mattress just in time to avoid the seemingly judgmental glance of that wise old sun. 

An NBA score and three web pages of article-glancing in, I see this headline:

ISIS REVEAL 6 REASONS WHY THEY DESPISE WESTERNERS  

Against any desires that might have thought of awakening to be curious, I read. 

ISIS: 

1. Because you are disbelievers

"We hate you, first and foremost, because you are disbelievers; you reject the oneness of Allah – whether you realize it or not – by making partners for Him in worship, you blaspheme against Him, claiming that He has a son, you fabricate lies against His prophets and messengers, and you indulge in all manner of devilish practices." 

2 . Because you are liberal

"We hate you because your secular, liberal societies permit the very things that Allah has prohibited while banning many of the things He has permitted, a matter that doesn’t concern you because you Christian disbelief and paganism 32 separate between religion and state, thereby granting supreme authority to your whims and desires via the legislators you vote into power." 

3. Because some of you are atheist

"In the case of the atheist fringe, we hate you and wage war against you because you disbelieve in the existence of your Lord and Creator."

4. For your crimes against Islam

"We hate you for your crimes against Islam and wage war against you to punish you for your transgressions against our religion." 

5. For your crimes against Muslims

"We hate you for your crimes against the Muslims; your drones and fighter jets bomb, kill, and maim our people around the world, and your puppets in the usurped lands of the Muslims oppress, torture, and wage war against anyone who calls to the truth."

6. For invading our lands

"We hate you for invading our lands and fight you to repel you and drive you out. As long as there is an inch of territory left for us to reclaim, jihad will continue to be a personal obligation on every single Muslim."

The article concludes that while foreign policy is an issue, the main reason they are hell bent on destruction is because they don't like the West very much. It reads: 

"What’s important to understand here is that although some might argue that your foreign policies are the extent of what drives our hatred, this particular reason for hating you is secondary, hence the reason we addressed it at the end of the above list. 

Briefly – and I do mean briefly – I found myself partially rereading the article. I felt that pesky inner-voice wanting to pick apart every one of those six reasons. I heard it whispering phrases like "jealous and insecure" and "childish schoolyard tantrum." I almost laughed at your unsuccessful distortion of the fact that most true Muslims despise you like you despise westerners. But then I noticed something kinda strange and eye-opening; it was that I wasn't mad, I wasn't afraid. I mean, AT ALL. Not one bit. In fact, I was barely phased beyond the measure of light morning entertainment. The fact is, I feel sad for your people. The people forced to be around you and people like you. So much hate, so much ignorance. Yes, this may exist even where I live on a lesser scale. However, you make it a point to credit your Allah with it, we don't. So yes, I felt sad, but not sad enough to let it ruin my day. Think I muttered something as I continued on with my day... 

"If you were made in your god's image, then damn..."