Excerpt of “Therapy Transcript: Inmate #4402”

3/4/98

Inmate #4402 - Session One

Inmate #4402 is serving three life sentences for one charge of aggravated murder and one charge of kidnapping. He has been sent to in-prison psychologist because he is seen as a possible threat to other inmates and himself.

Foster: Please take a seat. I’m Dr. Riley Foster. You and I will be seeing each other every day at 3:30 until I observe improvement significant enough to lessen or stop the sessions. I will inform you that everything you say will be audibly recorded. This will go much smoother if you cooperate. Thank you, now let’s get started. First, would you like to introduce yourself?

Havers: Josiah Havers.

Foster: Thank you, Mr. Havers. So first I want to just get to know you. Let’s talk. How old are you?

Havers: I’m twenty-six, born in ’73.

Foster: Hm, nothing seems too special about 1973, and, yet, you’re smiling. Why’s that?

Havers: It was a good time then is all. You’re right, nothin’ too special. (laughs lightly)

Foster: You’re saying that nothing happened, but then you laugh. Mr. Havers, this doesn’t line up. Please explain for me.

Havers: That’s exactly the point. Nothing happened.

Foster: Why is it a good thing that nothing happened?

(Long Pause)

Havers: If nothing happens at all, . . . then nothing bad can happen.

Foster: It sounds like that changed. Care to say when?

Havers: Change comes in time, Doc, as will that answer. See you tomorrow.

Session Notes: Inmate #4402 cooperates well, but evades personal questions. Suggested ‘bad’ childhood experiences.

Topic(s) of interest: childhood experiences

3/5/98

Inmate #4402 - Session Two

Foster: Hello again, Mr. Havers. You left quite abruptly yesterday. Would you like to pick up where we left off?

Havers: I believe I said ‘in time’.

Foster: Okay, well I suppose we can start with this. What’s your favorite childhood memory?

Havers: When I was alone.

Foster: Any particular reason you liked being alone?

Havers: Lots.

Foster: Care to share any?

Havers: What about you? What’s your favorite childhood memory?

Foster: Mr. Havers, this isn’t about me.

Havers: Well why should I tell you what you won’t tell me?

Foster: Fine, I suppose that’s fair. My favorite memory is when I would go to visit my grandma.

Havers: Why?

Foster: Mr. Havers, I feel we should get back on topic.

Havers: Oh, but this is on topic. If you want to know me, I want to know you.

Foster: If that’s the case, I enjoyed going to my grandmother’s because she made me feel special. She didn’t care what my grades were or if my room was clean. She just wanted to be with me. Now, why did you enjoy being alone?

Havers: I could be myself.

Foster: Could you not be yourself around other people?

Havers: Of course not! Everyone has things that they hide. I didn’t hide only a few things, but I hid my entire self.

Foster: Why did you think it was necessary to hide?

Havers: (takes deep breath) When you’re not normal, you know. It’s better to hide our differences than let others tear us apart for them. I was just making everyone’s lives easier.

Foster: When did you stop hiding?

Havers: (soft) I never stopped; I just failed.

Foster: How did you fail?

Havers: (soft) The secrets build. Eventually the wall you’ve built shatters, and things come crashing down.

Foster: I’m confident that we will get to that on another day. I think we’ve covered enough for now. I will see you again tomorrow. Goodbye, Mr. Havers.

Havers: (soft) Bye.

Session Notes: Began to respond in cryptic answers. Clearly, he was not ready to say anything specific. Pushing further would have only caused him to close off more. Beginning to reveal a bit more about his past, no specific details. In time, I believe he will divulge more. It might take a bit of work, but progress will be made.

Topic(s) of Interest: being alone, childhood experiences, secrets, what needed to be hidden

3/6/98

Inmate #4402 - Session Three

Havers: Hey, Doc.

Foster: Hello, Mr. Havers. How are you?

Havers: Other than the fact that I’m in prison? Decent enough. You?

Foster: I’m doing fine, thank you. Today, Mr. Havers, I would like to talk with you about your life as a child. Describe for me a normal day when you were six or seven.

Havers: I would wake up in the morning and get myself ready for school. I would get on the bus, spend the day at school, then take the bus back home. When I got home, I would go to my neighbor’s until it was time to go to bed.

Foster: Why did you stay away from home so late?

Havers: I didn’t want to be there.

Foster: Why did you not want to be home?

Havers: Because my house was not my home.

Foster: Mr. Havers, we aren’t going to get anywhere if you come in here every day and talk to me in riddles. What do you mean it wasn’t your home?

Havers: Home is supposed to be a safe place where you feel comfortable.

Foster: And you didn’t feel safe?

Havers: (defeatedly) No.

Foster: What about your house wasn’t safe?

Havers: It’s hard to be safe when you’re six and dependent on your stoner mom because she’s all you have. My father left when I was two. I never knew him, but I got to know the woman that cared more about getting high than taking care of her son.

Foster: Were drugs the only problem?

Havers: The drugs weren’t the problem. The problem was when the drugs were gone. No drugs meant no happy. Now I’m not saying it was good when they were there, but it was certainly worse when they weren’t.

Foster: What would she do when she was sober?

Havers: Well she needed to blame her screwed up life on somebody. I was the only one around. Hit, slap, burn, kick, cut, you name it. (bitter laugh) She loved torturing me. Naturally, I tried to get away. I went somewhere where I felt safe. (incoherent mumbling)

Foster: I’m sorry. What was that?

Havers: (another bitter laugh) Nothin’.

Foster: So to feel safe, you went to your neighbor’s.

Havers: Exactly.

Foster: What was your neighbor like?

Havers: He lived alone. Maybe mid-forties. He always seemed more than happy to have me over. He didn’t have any kids of his own, and he wasn’t married. We never talked about my family, and he never came over, but he knew. He knew not to bring it up. He knew why I wanted to get away. He made me feel like I belonged somewhere, like I wasn’t alone.

Foster: You trusted him?

Havers: I did.

Foster: Thank you, Mr. Havers. That will be all for today. You may go. (Door click, diminishing footsteps)

Session Notes: Inmate #4402 has uncovered a classic factor leading to the potential development of a murderer: physical abuse during childhood. Inmate #4402 says to have found a source of support as a child but appeared reflective and reminiscent when asked if he trusted his neighbor. There could potentially be more significant events that took place at a later date concerning the neighbor. Still has not brought up being alone.

Topic(s) of Interest: being alone, secrets, what needed to be hidden, neighbor