Regret and My way of having to deal with it

Ive never w... I have never participated in something like this. To never erase and go v.. back in your words and what you write its like showing the world what really you have thinking in your head. I have a lot to talk about like how today is my ex boyfriends b irthday and how alot of things ar going on in my life. its kind of sad you know to have your mind and heart sopeak in not so .. not the same level.. the same thoght.. they ar noot speaking or agreeing with each other at all. Its kinda fun doing thos. and saying all that ive always wanted to say. the way we had made love or what i thought was love but seems like it never was that in the first place because you said that you could never love... me ... well yopu said that you could come to love me but love comes naturlly and im not one to let a person force their feelings on me whats so sever. I love how you thought you could love me... i loved how we ... how I was your fisrt how th.. hw our relatoinship might have worked if i just didnt know the turth ughhhh this is brinmnng out too mand many emotions lmao i thik im doen and this was fun... and thiis was pure crap that i was writng but the way he used to look at me and the msile he used to give me and tthe small caresses and touches and sm... and the smallest of compliments you uised to give me when ini myself i didnt even know was true,.... its just sad but its whatever.... in your life you regert alot of things and i regert you