What Kind of Sin is This? A Work in Progress.

I write, "Miss you." Even as I know I don't. I'm thinking, 'No, I don't'. What kind of sin is this? Capital, criminal, biblical, cardinal? All of the above. And when there's nothing left to keep 'em, then yes, the word is love. 

When there was no love, only words, words saved me on the page and now they save me in minor ways in moments when I want to keep someone at any cost. What wouldn't I say? But what kind of sin is this? What will I pay, because these words are too easy, too powerful to be just given away, so tell me what kind of sin is this? The sin of greed, the sin of lust? It's the sin of "love". I want, I want not to be alone, I want, I want you to feel at home, but your journey isn't over. I want you to feel at ease, but don't get too comfortable, don't rest your feet. On me. Because when I want you to go, I want you to go, don't ask me any questions or play like you're hurt, don't look at my actions, but live by my words. 

Church, I need to go to church, I need somewhere to wear this dress and not get drunk. "Love" as a tool, as a weapon, in these hallowed halls that did it the best.