The Damnation of Little Robbie
1. Upon the sixth day after the autumnal equinox, Robbie, nigh on four years of age, sat upon his car seat for the visit of Grandmother Judith. His mother Lilith steered the mighty Prius for twenty-two minutes and fifty-eight seconds as his father Abraham sat within the passenger's seat basking in the Lord's everlasting Light and playing Candy Crush on his cellular device.
2. Robbie and his mother and father gained passage to Grandmother Judith's domain and wiped their dirtied feet upon her welcome mat which said unto them, "Bless all who enter here." Grandmother Judith graced her pious family with chocolate cookies which the family did partake, but not enough to perform the sin of Gluttony. Lilith did bestow her mother with a thank you for her gift of delectable sustenance, but Abraham did not, and Judith did strike a righteous blow unto the head of Abraham for his ungratefulness, and he did weep upon his punishment and transgression like a child. Robbie however did thank his grandmother upon the behest of his mother Lilith.
3. As Judith led Lilith and Abraham to the living room to converse of God's divine glory and pray upon their unworthiness of the Lord's forgiveness for Man's sins, Robbie did linger within the kitchen, and lo! he did bite into another cookie of righteousness thereby sinning the sin of Gluttony.
4. And damnation did crack the sky, and the earth beneath the heretic Robbie's feet did tremble from the wrath of God. The ground rent, and the arms of demons did reach up from the deepest pits of Hell to grasp little Robbie's feet to plunge him into eternal suffering and fire.
5. And the heavens did sing the Word of the Lord by the holy choir of angels and the thundering of trumpets as the blasphemer screamed into the earth, the wound upon the ground then healing behind the wretch. May God smite all who sin against Him. Amen.
Kyrie, eleison.
Christe, eleison.
Kyrie, eleison.
Dies irae, dies illa
Solvet saeclum in favilla,
teste David cum Sibylla.
Quantus tremor est futurus,
quando judex est venturus,
cuncta stricte discussurus!