Bye Felicia

I woke up this morning at 8:33, and my head hurt like a motherfucker. At least I was in my own bed, and there wasn’t anyone there. What did I do last night? I asked myself. I laid there, wrapped in my flowery duvet that I liked to hide under for comfort. Oh yeah, I remembered, while I sat on my chair with my dog watching Friday on a Saturday morning. It all started innocently enough. I didn’t plan on going anywhere the day before. I went into work on my day off, and all I wanted to do was to go home and nap. But then, I started to get texts.

Savers: Happy Hour Later?

Savers, is what I liked to call him, because, well, he liked to go to Savers. Savers is kind of like a Goodwill, but cheaper. We went on Tuesday’s usually, because it was senior’s day and it had a 30% discount on the already cheap crap. Anyway…

Me: May be. Where?

Savers: You tell me. You’re the picky one.

Me: I’m the lazy one

Me: And poor one.

An hour later,

Me: I’ve decided on the Crow. I don’t like the Bistro. 4:00?

Savers: Ok

Meanwhile, I was entertaining other texts. I called him Harley Davidson;

Harley Davidson: Are you stroing today?

That was his abbreviation for the bistro…

Me: Either there or the Crow with my new wingman Savers…I’ll let you know. What time will you be around?

Harley Davidson: Probably around 4 ish

Me: I’ll let you know…

Harley Davidson: Cool

Me: Did you hear about Yoko busting into Free Time’s house a few weeks ago? Did I

tell you?

The rule of hanging out with the rich white people was that when you weren’t at the table, you were on the menu. So…

Harley Davidson: No what happened?

Me: Oh really? Lol it’s a good one.

Me: About Yoko; he flipped out looking for New Boobs. He went into Free Time’s house in the middle of the night, twice, looking for her. He went upstairs into their bedroom

while he and his wife were in bed.

Harley Davidson: What!!! He’s lucky he didn’t get

Shot. So is New Boobs his new fling?

Yoko, you ask? Well…there is this guy who invaded our group a year ago, and he just fucked everything up. None of us were all together anymore. The one who I refer to as Yoko, told my former wingman, who I call C7, because, well, he has one, that the regulars of our group were trash talking him. He just disappeared and fell into a woman. Oh, and New Boobs. Well, she has new boobs. It was like an endemic where I hung out. Everyone bought themselves new boobs. She was a fleeting woman who was trying to escape her marriage. Anyway…I digress.

I was the spoiled one in the group who got to choose where we went. I referred to myself as the ring leader and that I was trying to get the circus back together. It was a tough feat.

I went to the Crow. I hugged all of my favorite bar and wait staff. I remembered that one of them still had a key to my apartment. I had him dog sit once, and I let him keep it. I secretly hoped he would show up one night, but he hasn’t yet. I drank two glasses of wine with Savers and Harley Davidson. It was uneventful really, and then Savers asked me to go to the bistro for another glass. What could I say? It wasn’t like I had anything better to do. So, I went. After that, I got invited to Saver’s house for dinner. “My daughter is there” he reassured. It was late, and I drank too much wine, but I went anyway.

There was too much going on that day. I was getting texts from my neighbor that I was supposed to pick up. Clearly I couldn’t. He was on the other side of town. I call him Gus’s Boyfriend. Gus’s Boyfriend? Gus stood for ‘guy upstairs.’ And, my neighbor, Gus’s boyfriend, used to be inseparable from the guy upstairs, hence the name.

Gus’s Boyfriend: Okay, I get off at 7PM or 7:30 PM tonight.

Me: I can’t drive there, but I will Uber you home.

Me: Is that okay?

Gus’s Boyfriend: It’s okay don’t worry about me I find something else hop you

okay.

Well, I was off the hook for that, but then, I got another text.

Green Chili: What are you doing later this evening?

Me: Umm…nothing.

I should have said that I was out. I was already many glasses in and I had to get home.

Me: I’m in rich white people land and by the time I get home, I probably won’t be able to drive.

Me: Well, drive anywhere else.

Me: You guys want to come over?

What a stupid idea that was.

Green Chili: What time were are you thinking?

Me: 9:00 ish?

I made my way back home and sent out texts indicating so.

Savers: Home

That was sometime just before 9:00 PM. I laid down in my bed with my Beats on and I tried to sleep. I had already regretted my decision to invite them over, but it was too late.

Green Chili: Ok cool – we are going to eat and we will be there around 9

Me: Okay, text when you’re here so my dog doesn’t freak out.

Sometime around 10:00 there was a knock on my door, no warning text. I painfully got up. I looked out of my kitchen window, and, it was them. There were three of them. One stood there holding a bag of beer, and the other with two bottles of wine. I opened my door, let them in, and five hours later, six beer, and two bottles of wine, they left. I wanted to say bye Felicia, but I was too drunk and tired, and I didn’t think they’d get the reference anyway. Now, back to waking up at 8:33 in the morning.

Fuck. I didn’t want to wake up. My head hurt, my body was lame, but I didn’t have a choice. The sun was shining in. I reached over and grabbed my phone from the night stand to see what other mischief that I got up to night before. Thankfully, it was nothing more. No drunk texts.

I rolled out of bed, literally, on to my dog’s bed next to me, to which he was still on. He stretched out on it while I crawled over him. I felt like shit. I dragged my ass up into the kitchen. I opened my fridge that was littered with pictures of my past and grabbed my power aid. I stood there with the opened fridge and drank straight from the bottle. It didn’t help. I looked around my apartment for evidence of what happened the night before. 

There were two, almost empty pint glasses and two very empty wine glasses. Near the couch I found a near empty wine bottle. I poured it into one of the glasses and finished it. I figured that it couldn’t get any worse.

I looked at my phone again. I realized that had forgotten to check if I had made any calls. Sometimes I made calls while drinking, they were almost worst than texts. At least with texts I could go back and read them to see what I wrote. There were no calls. But, I did see a call that I had been trying to make for a few days without an answer. I decided to call him. His name was Sponsor. I met him at a bar while watching hockey. It was team Canada vs. Sweden in the world junior’s hockey in January, and he came it. There were four of them. They all came in and sat at the bar, “Who the hell is watching hockey?” he complained. “I am!” I said back quickly. I was sitting there wearing my red Canada t-shirt watching the game all by myself. We bantered for a while, and then I told him I had to leave. “Leave? What do you mean leave?” he questioned. “Well, I can’t afford it here. I need a sponsor!” I told him. “Well then, I’ll be your sponsor,” he said. So, that was how I found him.

After a few visits and him hearing how much I hated my job and wanted to leave it, he had offered me a room to stay in if I decided to move to California. I pushed his name in my phone to call him. “Hello?” he answered. “Hey, still remember me?” I asked. He didn’t finagle his words. “When are you coming? Or are you here?” he asked. “I’m not there yet, but I’ll be there on Thursday. I just wanted to call to make sure you didn’t forget me,” I teased. “How can I forget you?” he laughed. “I’ll be there to look for a job and meet people…” I told him, “…and if it’s okay with you, I’d like to go visit my new digs.” “Well, yes,” he agreed. “Is it hot is it there? It’s 107 here,” I asked. “100 yesterday. Don’t worry though, I have a pool” he reassured. “You mean I’m moving into another goddamn heat wave?” I asked sarcastically. “Yup” was his only response. “Okay then, get ready, I’m a comin’” I told him. “Should I call you when I get there, since you don’t text?” “I text!” he lauged. He had one of those slider phones still, and he liked to boast about his refusal to get a smart phone. 

We hung up, and I had reassured the spot that I was going to live in. It was a gamble. I didn’t know who this man was really. I met him on a trip in January, February, and April briefly. But, each time I returned, he hosted huge welcome back parties for me with a bunch of people who had grown dear to me. I liked to gamble, so I will be there in August to live, and I’ll see what it’s like.

My next thought, Food.

What was the last thing I ate? And when?  I wondered. I had a piece of chicken the night before and some salad. Well, I should probably eat something, I thought. I wasn’t hungry, but I often forgot to eat. I didn’t want to go by myself, so…

Me: No Flagstaff today.

Gus’s Boyfriend: O okay

Me: May be McDonald’s for take out breakfast. You got your hair and make up on? Want to go?

Gus’s Boyfriend: Okay, I will get ready. I will be don in 10 minutes k.

Me: You don’t need to get ready…I look like crap. Lol lets go.

I sent a text to my neighbor for moral support. I sat out in my car. I called it my ghetto car. I had a broken radio, so…I found a JBL speaker at work and I took it. I used it in my car after that. I would connect my phone via Bluetooth to Pandora and that was how I rolled. Gus’s Boyfriend came out, and we were on our way. “I hate this light” I complained at the intersection near our complex. “I know, it takes so long” he concurred. Finally it turned green, and we turned left. “Let’s go to the Jewish place instead of McDonalds,” I said. “Sounds good” my neighbor said. “I hate how slow people drive here” I said as I was whizzing in and out of traffic. We went to Einstein’s Bagel shop, I bought him breakfast to go, and away we went.

We got back to the complex and he gave me 21 dollars. He liked to give me money for one reason or another, so I took it. Don’t judge me.

That is my life. In the span of 24 hours all of that had happened. It was only 10:00 on a Saturday morning. I might have left out a few details, but a girl needs to have her secrets. I wonder what the rest of the day will bring. It’s the first day of live horse racing…I’m sure it will bring more.