Overshadowed by the Sun

She is the Sun. I am the Moon. Everywhere she goes, she shines brightly. Whenever with her, I do not shine. I glow and reflect the light she gives off. She is brighter, prettier, taller, thinner, smarter, funnier, lovelier, more outgoing, and has an actual personality. Naturally, wherever she goes, any attention follows her like a rabid dog in heat, eyeing a juicy steak for its last meal. I am just an afterthought, as, at first, I am cautious, observant, quiet, and perhaps even a bit cold, gloomy and dark. But even after people get to know me and I warm up, she is still too bright for them to give me a second thought until they remember that I too exist, or notice that I am still around.

She is welcoming, while many see me as unapproachable due to the chronic disease of the resting bitch face, and my lack of interest in smiling unless I'm truly happy because smiles give you more wrinkles, and are far too tiring to maintain. For me, it would be putting on an obvious pretense. For her, she is naturally just being herself.

If I'm invited somewhere and ask her to come along, everyone gravitates towards her. Whether it's a good friend or a potential love interest of mine.

But, such is life and this is nature. At first, at one time, I seethed with jealousy. Why? What am I lacking? Many things. Why does everyone always like HER, why is SHE always getting all the attention? But she did nothing wrong and she is a good friend.

I gravitate towards her too.

I felt less because she was always more.

I adore her. I'm glad I met her and I respect her. I wish her the world because she is a true star child who can achieve anything she sets her mind to.

I am not hideous. On my own, I too am often noticed. Attract attention. I am not an idiot. There have been things I've accomplished in the past. Things I could be proud of. My body might not be ideal, but I am able and functional, and that is such a privilege to be grateful for.

I never even liked being the center of attention and would try be at the side. But I guess I noticed the placement more with her around.

Through her, I've learned a few things about myself. I can now deal with my nastier side a bit better. I am a bit stronger. For you have control over no one else's actions but your own.

Now, when in a group or just solo with her, I amuse myself by observing and making predictions about others' reactions towards us. They typically come true.

I think she picked up on my inner angst, but this is something we will never talk about. The problem is with me, not her.

So I'll just resign myself. Those who wish to know me will. And those who don't...won't.