Unseen

She was beautiful but no body saw her because she hid her eyes behind her long dark fringe.  She hated her nose, the way her mouth looked crooked and how everyone always asked her to smile.  Smile Shelley, you always look so depressed.   Smile Shelley, you look different when you smile.     Why do people say things that make you withdraw more into yourself, when your mind is already telling you that you are a failure anyway.

She had boring grey eyes she thought.  They were like muddy clouds on a brewing storm, indecisive and not passionate enough to become the storm, just muddling around doing not very much.   Quick glances at people were enough for her to see that they weren't interested, that she was boring to them.  Not good enough for a second glance in her mind, an obscurity, a blend in the mass of people in the world.  Unseen. That's how she saw herself.

I never saw her like that.   I saw her as sunlight on a winters day, an echo of a small smile on cupids bow lips.  Elegant nose and slightly flared nostrils when she was passionately talking about things she loved, art and spirituality.  Grey eyes that sparked to silver lights flickering like sunlight on the water, pulling you into her depths and making you feel encompassed by her understanding, one hundred percent of her attention.   The way she flicked back that fringe, graceful sweep of her hand and the tinkling laughter like raindrops on water.   She was beautiful in her understanding, but unseen by herself.  Her own light invisible, she plodded through her substandard life. But she shone, a beacon for those who took the time to see, the beauty in the simplicity of her being.   I wish I could remove those glasses of self loathing she wore, distorting her view of her being, judging and condemning no one else but herself.

I wanted to give her a gift, a gift of seeing herself but until she took those invisible glasses off, she was doomed to never see her own beauty, the shine of her heart light and the pull of her soul.   Oh, open your eyes Shelley, for the world is blessed by your presence and heart, gorgeous grey eyes and a hint of smile.   Stop hiding your light under a bushel of judgement or forever be lost in a darkening world through your own eyes.

She was beautiful but no body saw her because she lost herself in a place where acceptance and love dies a lonely death.