Unfolding

Palau, that perfect underwater shot,

Amsterdam red light district, girls in windows, and all that pot,

Sometimes only my subconscious is the only thing that remembers.

When the nights are hot and the brain is high,

It’s pretty hard to just play coy.

There was a night in costa Rica I danced nearly naked in the rain,

The locals thought I was a crazy perra Jane.

The void in my body; was easy to fill

But love, acceptance goes deeper; takes skill.

I've eaten my fair share of pastries in France,

In Argentina; I've done the dance.

Chile; I've slept under stars and hiked the mountain mile.

In China, eaten food that came in unidentified piles.

In Peru, I played with abandoned monkeys,

Because they reminded me of myself, for more than food; hungry.

Searching.

There was that magical night on the life giving Amazon, pink dolphins, a quartette,

came to me; I almost heard them whisper, “check out the swimmer.”

For awhile, they allowed me to forget,

But when they swam away, the moment was lost and I felt dimmer.

Like a wrecked past you want to hold close, yet keep at bay.

Whether you like it or not, the memories of the river will always have their way.

Those dolphins, like me, no staying put; instead, existence.

Curious and friendly, yet try to keep a far distance.

With the love, loss, intensity of feelings,

The pink dolphins remind me of concealing.

That snake in the rafters of that hikers lodge in Peru,

Reminded me of the evil that lurks above, below and through.

Similar to the thousands of mosquito bites I reigned,

It is easy to pretend the mark wasn’t felt, yet that is the bain.

Just be distant and pretend it doesn’t itch,

Instead, just behave as a bitch.

Push.

The sea lions in Galapagos, curious and friendly, like a dog in the water,

Loyal and true they didn’t want to bother,

with feelings.

They enjoyed the moment and nibbled at my feet,

Perhaps a bit bittersweet.

But take a backseat.

That witch doctor in Equator told me there has to be a middle ground,

To your re-crown.

Keep looking, he said.

You ran far away from just letting it be,

In an attempt to find yourself, you hid (from yourself), quite easily.

In random cities and towns, you can escape the day

But the night may

Once again; bring you into your head where doubt and self-loathing will only become part of your unfolding.

Avoid that misery by finding a balance between peace and love and friendship and heartache, and simply, quit holding

Onto those things that will only bring detriment.

Don’t be your own impediment.

Choose your friends wisely, your lovers even more so,

And this, the witch doctor said, you already know.

Upon myself, in that moment, I realized and bestowed my thoughts again.

The dolphins and the sea lions, there is a balance,

Somewhere in the middle, that is the place to tread.

There is really no reason to be estranged,

From those thoughts in your head.

If someone doesn’t understand them, well, that is their own dread.

Even though constant searching I thought certainly was bound,

Peace, happiness and love, sometimes can be found

Only when you get off that merry-go-round.