Suicide.
No.
See, here's the thing. I agree with you. In fact, I think we both know that I'm gonna end up punching my own ticket before it's all said and done. I just want you to be sure. So give it a day. That's all I'm asking, is for you to give it one day.
Sleep on it. Sober up, or get drunk. Watch a movie. Take a walk. But most importantly, take a big step back and look at the world. This is what you're going to be leaving. You really wanna miss out on The Last Jedi?
I'm not joking. One time I was about to kill myself and I saw the first trailer for Fury Road. I was so fucking furious with George Miller for forcing me to stick around until I saw it. At the time, anyway.
It came out a couple of years ago. I'm still here. Had a few more close calls. And like I said, we both know how my story ends. Just not when. And I don't think you know when yours ends. Not yet. So give it a day. And tomorrow, if you wake up and the sun is shining and the birds are chirping and you have the most wonderful day that you've had in months or years, and you take a deep breath at the end of the day and smile sadly and pull the knife out... well, hell. That's your decision. But go out on top.
It's the only way to know that you're making the right decision.