Why so serous?

Why am I so serous? Oh, I don't know, could it be the inversion of all of my mucus membranes turned toward the outside world, dripping, discharging, and weeping such that no one wants to see me, much less touch any part of me? Could it be that? Could it be the gurgling in my throat if I haven't remembered to clear it in the last few minutes? Could it be that?

Why? you ask. I'll tell you why, Mr. Oblivious-to-the-obvious. It's because--oh! You said "serious"! I thought you said "serous." That's a completely different thing, idn't it? O.K., serious...why am I sooooo serious? 

I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why I'm so serious. Maybe it's because I'm so serous. You'd be serious, too, if you were serous like me--dripping, discharging.....