Zuckerberg Finds Religion

Mark Zuckerberg was jogging on the sidewalk one day, when a white van pulled up next to him. Men in white suits and white ski masks jumped out, covered his face with a cloth soaked in chloroform, and he fell asleep.

When he woke up, he found himself in a small dark room, facing a gigantic video monitor. His legs were tied to the chair, his wrists were handcuffed behind him, and some contraption was holding his eyelids opened, while also squirting artificial tears in them from time to time. He had biofeedback sensors all over his shaved head.

The screen showd various images- it would show grotesque scenes of disease, rotting corpses, and violence while a gentile femele voice says the word "athiesm". It would also show beautiful pictures of butterflies, meddows full of flowers, and happy children playing with puppies and kittens. Durring those scenes the woman's voice would say "religion".

This would go on for about an hour, then a man would come into the room and ask, "Is religion very important?" If Mark said no, he shocked him with a tazer. Then the videos resumed. then the next hour, the man came back. Mark said "yes, religion is very important" but the biofeedback machine could tell he did not realy believe what he was saying. This went on for many days. Mark was not allowed to sleep. Eventualy Mark said "I believe Religion is very important. It is bad to question things. Religion is very important. It is bad to question things."

They untied him from the chair, and removed the restrictive devices. They put a wig on his head exactly like his previous hair style, and then dropped him off in an aley behind a Pizza parlor not far from his home.