white eyes

So ironic. I’m next to the supermarket. But I’m starving.

Looking down, I see shoes of all kinds even in this rain.

Sandals, high heels, boots, leather sprinkled with rain, suede stained dark.

I wish I had shoes. I used to.

No one cares. Everyone is too busy with their lives. My tears blend with the rain.

All I want is enough to not die. At least water is free for now.

With each step towards the wall where I sit, I try refraining from snapping my head up to beg.

The gangs taught me to know better.

My hair is too long, and its sodden weight pulls my head down.

It shields my eyes from the world like a curtain, but echos of rushing footsteps, splashes, and flowing words resonate.

Each drop that falls creates its own small ripple, but I don’t even make a small impact upon this society.

One foot chases another. Closer, closer, louder, louder, and I see shoes in front of me.

I slump over. I don’t want to deal with knives and blows anymore. Is it possible to escape?

No. I knew that already.

Hey, an echo says, here.

A small cardboard box, drenched through with rain, is thrown down at my feet, only to be swept away by the rain.

No! Eyes widening, my hands shoot out on their own to grasp this mystery.

With no strength, I fall onto the pavement, a pathetic being with no right to exist.

Shivers course through me as I try to prop myself up with one arm. A pathetic, stick-arm.

Trembling, I look at the bright little box, the only spot of color I see in this grey world.

Botan. Botan Rice Candy.

The cat smirks at me and the chrysanthemum flaunts its wealth and prosperity.

But it’s food, and it’s all I have for today.

Greedily picking at the wax wrapper, I rapidly unwrap the small red ruby and feel flavor exploding in my mouth. The dogs in Pavlov’s experiment couldn’t have been more ecstatic.

Grateful grey eyes find themselves staring at the giver with reverence fit for a deity.

My “white” eyes. The reason why I don’t fit here. Why I am “not human.” Why they think I don’t belong.

Good, you are the one I wanted to give this to. I always see you here, a warm voice observes.

Nodding, I force my head down so he doesn’t see me as what everyone else sees me as.

The tanginess stabs its way into my tongue, cheeks, and throat, but the sugar sooths me.

Tingling pleasure runs through my spine, and then startling pain.

Is this supposed to happen?

I look at my savior, searching for an answer in his eyes.

A surge of knives storm through my body, and I see the man smiling sweetly like poison sugar.

Yes, the right person to kill. Goodbye now.

Echos sprint across a field of darkness. Goodbye, Goodbye...

And there was the last whisper.

Of light.