Sex; the Ultimate Catholic School Girl Sin

I sit in religion class and listen to the teacher speak of forbidden sins we should not go near. Gluttony, sloth, envy, wrath, greed, pride, and lust. 

We were taught from an early age that sex is a sin, sex is reserved for married people to create children, more children in the image of God himself. Sex is dirty, it has one purpose only, to create little bundles of joy to add to our catholic cult system. 

So you can imagine my confusion that when the feelings of lust came upon me at fifteen years old. I did not really understand the feeling. I was not taught that these hormones and feelings occurred naturally in my body because of biology, but because I was a sinner.  

As these feelings of lust came upon me more and more I had difficulty trying to repress them. I wanted to give into those feelings, simply because I was told not to. I wanted to feel the pleasure that my body so desperately craved, I wanted to feel the touch of another person; skin on skin. These feelings did not arise from love, they came from a primal instinct. I was so specifically told that what I was feeling was a sin but how could I stop these feelings and why must I feel so guilty? The only way to get the constant thoughts of lust off my mind was to simply just. give. in. 

So I did.