Part Four: The Meaning of Life...
...what is Life really?
As best as I can see, Life is an unrelenting force. There is no Off button; only Go. We flip this or that switch in Nature, and the Motherboard just shifts to some alternate default mode, following a programming that we have absolutely no ability to decode. From the past to the future; from the inside, out; heaven, or hell—however we look at it— in our consciousness Life IS, and that's that. Infinitely.
It is said there are only two facts in Life: we are born and we die. But even that statement begs doubt. There appears to be only the Unknown; so perhaps Life IS the UNKNOWABLE. And there is a disarming beauty in that statement. Why then do we feel compelled to judge and change things, as if we could "do better?"
Dropping our hands to our sides in exasperation—on the basis of our perceived dubious circumstances—we ask in desperation:
...what then are we meant to do?
It seems we are all born with a deeply ingrained longing. It haunts us throughout our lives... though we can never really pin point what it is exactly that we want. We want, we want, we want... No, I don't think it's really Some thing to have...
It's as if we want to Be something... Something specific... but what? We seek something outside ourselves... and we scrape within... To no avail. Maybe instead it is a feeling that we seek?
Enigmatically, it could be very simply: Just To Be. At ease. Is that not when we feel the best? The most... free? Sitting, just sitting, like watching the sunset—without pangs of guilt. An Oriental poem that I memorized as a child comes to mind:
"Sitting quietly, doing nothing;
Spring comes, and the grass grows by itself."
(I regret I've forgotten who it's by... but how beautiful, peaceful, freeing!)
When we can close our eyes and just enjoy a moment truly, we feel...closest to creation...to God... to the fullness of Eternity. Asking nothing, just assimilating.
Yet most of the time, inside, we are so very ill-at-ease... Is that the flow of Life hounding us from within...? Momentum demanding constant change in all respects, but most importantly, I would suggest, in mental perspective. How sad it is that pure Appreciation is so pejoratively equated in our society with being idle, or worse, with "wasting time."
...why is Life so precious?
I think we instinctively feel that we do not belong to ourselves. We are quick to note, "I didn't ASK to be born!" (*To which my parents were just as quick to counter, How do you know? and indeed what recollection do we have of what happened before birth?) Yet at every moment, of every day, we have the distinct irritation of being pushed by forces that are not ours. We physically feel "discomfort" to greater or lesser extend at all times... it's that peculiar sensation of being alive. Pleasure of mind or body is always tainted by some kind of remorse, even if it's only our own ungrateful reflection that "it doesn't last."
Not belonging to ourselves parallels a wish for some external belonging that we tend to seek, which usually is associated with an urge to be of service to other. Sympathy and empathy are very human traits; but we seem to also fall into making undue comparisons among the lives of others. To assume that some lives are better than ours, is specious, as we do not know what burdens individuals really carry. Age-old fables wisely warn that trading lots with another usually brings us back to embrace our own sack of troubles. On the other side, pitying the fate of others can prove equally suspicious, as we do not know how they perceive their own lot. Indeed, hardship may be a source of strength, growth, personal satisfaction... however upsetting that may sound.
All of this touches on Pride and Vanity for sure; and even Envy, Avarice and Gluttony; not to mention Wrath and well... even Sloth, as we are so reluctant and slow to apply ourselves to deeper thought.
...is there a map or compass to lead us?
I suspect there is: and suggest that it is Us. Each of us individually knows what is fair... it's tattooed on our heart. We know how we would like to be treated. It goes beyond the Golden Rule even, to a more objective articulation (such as voiced by Immanuel Kant). Paraphrasing, the idea is to act so that the basis of your action might be applied as a Universal rule. Thus, Stealing is wrong not because what is stolen matters to us; but wrong because it leads to depravity and mistrust in any society as a whole... Lying is wrong, not because we care whether or not it is done to us, but because no one functions well in the tangles of deception.... even if it's just me deluding myself.
To be sure I don't know what The Meaning of Life is; and it would be awkward of me to presume what someone else's Purpose is; but I do, rightly or wrongly, have some sense in my own mind of how I perceive my human role in this ephemeral existence that we share. I'll note these reflections, in a few verses, as concluding thoughts:
ManKind
i am... God's Sidekick;
a Court Jester, the wizened Fool
a Valentine... Devil's Advocate...
a fallen Angel called upon
i am Eyes and Ears;
the persistent silent Question
the Audience that laughs... and sighs...
the Who echoing against the Dark
i'm with the I AM;
a Pinnochio that grows a heart
a Raison d'Etre... an After-thought...
the Life of the Party, giving Thanks for all we've got!