Thoughts From An Insomniac

Sleep has never been my friend

It was always just something I did

But as the concept of tired

Was drilled into my head

I realized how much I missed something so simple

Odd, isn't it?

Odd in that 'hug from a relative' kind of way

You never fully realize

How much importance it has

Until it's not possible anymore

And you're left to ponder

Why you miss it so much

Like you miss your dog after a long day

You know it's there

But you can't just quite get to it yet

And I know for a fact

That people don't like things to be out of their reach

We think like a teenager's parents

And assume that we have right to know it all

But the universe rebels

Limiting our knowledge to the simple

And why wouldn't we want the simple?

Simple means easy

It means living in bliss because maybe the universe is good

Maybe we need to trust the universe

Just as we need to trust that teenager

Who seems like a good kid

Maybe we don't need to know the whole story

To understand ourselves

We just need to understand the little things

Not cells under a microscope

But the little things people do

Like write down I love yous

And goodbyes

Or the patterns on your hand

Down to the half second blink

That can change you

Like a butterfly's wings

We don't think about it

Until we realize what it could mean for us

I'm not saying we can't figure out how it all works

But we need to ask why sometimes

Why are we here?

Why do I think like I do?

Why do I miss closing my eyes

And letting my imagination

Run wild?

I guess

I'm just tired

Tired of questioning

How it's possible that I can't sleep

I'm an insomniactic philosopher, I know

A true lover of wisdom

Knowledgeable in all things

That I don't know

Questioning the questions

But I don't want answers right now

Like a drug addict

Realizing the problem

I want to go to the rehab for insomniacs

To stop taking the drug that is keeping me awake

I want to forget the universe

And leave it behind

So I can make a treaty with sleep

To stop this damn war inside my head

But like society

Thus far in history

Wars happened with greed

And my mind is greedy with ideas

Like the CEO of a corporation

Insomia hires thoughts

To keep me from breaking the routine

I'm bound so terribly

To this routine

That I've given up trying to fight it

Doesn't change the fact that I miss sleep

In the way I miss the toys I used to play with as a kid

Like the my favorite Barbie doll

I lost it to time

Now I'm left wondering

How fast the time went

Four in the morning

Two hours is all I have left

And I guess I'm going to have to force sleep to love me

Because if I don't

Then who will?