on masquerades.

the crickets are deafening.

it is a bit strange how you don't really notice yourself normally, isn't it?

going about your normal day without a care in the world.

i do know the feeling.

it is sort of surreal when you take a moment to do the opposite.

whether by fleeting chance, or some sort of masochistic crusade,

it isn't a bad feeling at all; not really a good one either.

it is simple just a feeling.

i think it's about 1 a.m., maybe?

no one else awake but the crazies and the kindred spirits.

sort of reminds me of early morning;

no one about but the crickets and angels.

ah, mornings!

my favorite; aside from the dead of night.

everyone just going about their beautiful lives,

exhausted from exhilarating nightmares, hungover from fighting their dreams.

early mornings and the dead of night are the only times i really feel alive.

i am quite comfortable around people in the mornings.

no one really cares about anything.

—off to work!

—off to school!

everyone just sort of “is.”

ah, but as the day drags on…

people start to wake up.

you may start to notice things you haven't a few hours earlier.

—hm, my car is quite dirty today.

—ah, it seems my hair is a bit more disheveled than usual.

—my beard is starting to get a bit long!

—egads, it seems that jesus has pissed all over my lawn…

i notice these things too.

i am not some disconnected watcher;

as much as i may want to be.

maybe it's part of the human condition?

maybe it's just some sort of fucked cosmological joke.

—ah i should dust off my vinyl collection; make it presentable for when i have company over!

forget that i haven't actually listened to any of these records in months.

—oh my bookshelf seems a bit disorderly today

forget that i haven't touched half of these books in years.

oh, but how the evening heals us!

the pretty people all go back to their gorgeous houses

to eat their beautiful dinners and watch their elegenat televisions

kiss their delightful children and head to their copacetic bedrooms

with their absolutely resplendant hubands and wives.

there is truly nothing wrong with that.

in fact, i find it quite refreshing.

simple;

real.

aleatoricism:

beauty; by

chance.

finally, the night returns!

the world chasing sleep.

the sane are at rest.

but…

—the rest of us?

—we are up all night.

—the rest of us?

—we have demons to fight.

ah, the whiskey is gone.

the internet is back.

the cigarette pack teases empty.

and the crickets are deafening.