At the front

A curious notion sets itself, quickly infecting my mind.

In every quarter. On every surface.

Stop, stop this dopamine flow. Too much of a good thing isn't good at all.

From one light touch the chaos unravels itself quickly, stirring hidden thoughts that I try to refrain from. I can't contain them. They're everywhere.

Emotions boiling over, rising to the surface, burning my cheeks.

Embarrasing.

It's a whisper, hardly in the blood, hovering. Waiting, its grip distresses me.

Cardiac arrest a breath away, self-control is paramount. But I'm not good at that.

At least, not right now.

I breath in, releasing a tremor. My body's afflicted.

I think, I'm undone.

A merciless plague runs rampant through my thoughts, the fault of my affections.

It's hard to hear myself. Formerly strong, now weak and slightly insane.

This isn't me. I'm possesed.

God exercise these demons out of me.

They're clawing away at my conscious sanity, tearing pieces of my peace away.

Everyday. When I see him.

My heart murmurs so loudly, but I heart my secrets.

It's ringing in my hearts.

My hearts throbbing.

I can't help myself.

My mind was free.

But now I'm a minor character in this tragedy.

Someone's gonna write me off this show, 'cause I'm long gone already.

And I'm hoping, and I'm wistfully stealing a glance.

Just look my way.

See me in the crowd. See me looking at you.

Ruin me...and...

I know we'll never happen. I see that. The truth isn't blind to me.

But I can't stop what you started.

So I'll sit back in my desk chair, and

I'll try to smother the fire that's ablaze in my mind.

Kindling my desires, lighting up my dreams.

I'll keep dreaming.